Metal Pet Peeves

[mugz]

all your posts read like a cerebral accountant background character from Bridget and Eamonn; I mean that in the best way possible.

[astfgyl]

Sound.... I think..

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

Metal pet peeve... that there still hasn't been a vinyl reissue of Traveller.

[Anton Arcane]

Bands using cartoon caricatures of themselves on merch and in videos. It's just so naff and cringey.

[Thorn]

Had to politely turn down the prospect of receiving the Metallica monopoly game for Father's Day for that very reason, I mean, seriously ,have a look at it and try to equate that with the trailblazing thrashers we all (well,a.lot of us) grew up with.
Caricatures can fuck right off along with any other blatantly commercial attempt to snag 'the kids'.

[mugz]

Bands using cartoon caricatures of themselves on merch and in videos. It's just so naff and cringey.

it was quite on point in the late 00s, but when testament did it recently it had gone back to being meh. Actually I didn't really like it in the 00s either despite being a cartoon fan.

[Eoin McLove]

Metal bands who try to write epic fantasy concept stories. I was reading an interview with Atramentus and the dude starts going on about the lyrical subject matter.

The forlorn thief prince wages war against the stars and steals the goblin queen's magic cloak to kill the sun but ends up trapped inside the labyrinthine ice palace of endless winter....

What the fuck are you on about??? I'm sorry,  but these types of muddled, sorry *complex,  narratives where the band builds their own fantasy Tolkein-esque world, maybe even inventing their own language along the way, are cringey as fupp.

[Blackout]

Sounds like my last mushroom trip.

[Pedrito]

Metal bands who try to write epic fantasy concept stories. I was reading an interview with Atramentus and the dude starts going on about the lyrical subject matter.

The forlorn thief prince wages war against the stars and steals the goblin queen's magic cloak to kill the sun but ends up trapped inside the labyrinthine ice palace of endless winter....

What the fuck are you on about??? I'm sorry,  but these types of muddled, sorry *complex,  narratives where the band builds their own fantasy Tolkein-esque world, maybe even inventing their own language along the way, are cringey as fupp.

Thought you loved all that elaborate weirdness, though I do take your point 

Bal Sagoth were great at it though, although maybe it's just because the music is actually good.

[blessed1]

Don't see anything wrong with that stuff myself!
I think it suits certain bands. Can't really imagine a band like rhapsody  or blind guardian singing  about other stuff.
And bal sagoths lyrics are class. Just pure over the top which suits the music.

[Eoin McLove]

I suppose it doesn't bother me as long as everyone is on the same page that it is literary toilet paper. People trying to rewrite LOTR and thinking that their autistic attention to boring detail and convoluted meandering plot lines makes them appear profound turns my pubes grey. More grey.

[blessed1]

Nah bal sagoths lyrics are deadly and in no way shite!

[Eoin McLove]

I can't comment on Bal Sagoth but what sparked my peeve was the interview with Atramentus in the new issue of ZT. Your man's brilliant concept read like what I imagine Donald Trump might come up with if he decided to become a fantasy novelist.  Baffling, meaningless word salad.

I should add that despite enjoying LOTR and The Hobbit when I read them back in the mists of time, I have zero interest in fantasy as a subject matter.

[Pedrito]

Nah I get it. Dream Theatre tried one a few years ago...cringiest thing I've ever seen.

[Eoin McLove]

Sure as much as a legend as I think King Diamond is his fuckin horror story lyrics are about as scary and convincing as Tellytubbies