Pet Peeves

[son of the Morrigan]

I heard that allright, I must make enquiries.
Its funny, 25 years ago all we could get is hash (well, what we called hash, that auld soapbox shite), and all we wanted was to get our hands on a nice  bit of weed. Now we're kicking weed out of our way and all we want is a nice bit of hash.
It's hard to please the decerning classified substances enthusiast.

[astfgyl]

  tis indeed! I actually made the hash a few times and it's very hard to go back to anything after the wonderful homemade Ice-o-lator but some of the for sale stuff around gives it a good run for its money

[Eoin McLove]

Here's one that I'm not sure exactly how to classify, but I'll put it here under the classification of unclear communication head fuck.

I went to the shops to get bread over the weekend. It was only ten to eight in the morning when I got there and the doors hadn't opened yet so I'm standing there waiting with a few other heads. At eight an oul one from the bakery opens the door and walks out. She turns back as we are going in and says, make sure to let me back in. So I hesitate to see if the door is going to close and not open again but a dude wanders in and it opens up. Grand job. I head over to the bakery and order my bread. As I'm standing there waiting for it to be sliced up, the oul one comes back.

She looks at me with a big open faced smile and says:

The crickets find their way in!

I go, eh, pardon me?

She says, now pointing in towards the bread with the same big smile:

The crickets find their way in!

I'm standing there gawping at her with a look of what must have been absolute horror, tinged with a deep soulful confusion. I can't even find words to say, my mouth working like a fish out of water... is this some code she is speaking?? Don't eat the bread, it's full of crickets! The eagle has fuckin landed!!!

After some seconds of this bewildering standoff she points at a little white bucket I hadn't noticed:

When it rains, the crickets come inside.

Fucking Jesus Christ, the penny drops at last! She picked up a few crickets off the floor and fucked them out the door. I nearly had a heart attack...

This is going to sound completely made up, but as I was typing that out I was on the jacks. I stood up to flush and what was on the floor in the corner of the room? A fucking cricket! She was right all along. Unreal.

[The Great Cull]

Ridiculous "inclusivity" in ads. I tend to laugh at the womens skin care ads with the blotchy skinned fuckers, giggle at the super fat woman doing ice skating to sell period pads but I've just bought a new pair of boots online and one of the pictures shows a models legs but the cunt only has ONE foot!

[Eoin McLove]

Ridiculous "inclusivity" in ads. I tend to laugh at the womens skin care ads with the blotchy skinned fuckers, giggle at the super fat woman doing ice skating to sell period pads but I've just bought a new pair of boots online and one of the pictures shows a models legs but the cunt only has ONE foot!

 

[Carnage]

It's finance based. Funding is available for advertising to be more visibly diverse, so of course it goes that way.

Could be worse, look at the Oscars' criteria.

[Bürggermeister]

Ridiculous "inclusivity" in ads. I tend to laugh at the womens skin care ads with the blotchy skinned fuckers, giggle at the super fat woman doing ice skating to sell period pads but I've just bought a new pair of boots online and one of the pictures shows a models legs but the cunt only has ONE foot!

   Link a brother up

[The Great Cull]

Here it is.

https://www.schuh.ie/mens/dr-martens-combs-tech-black-boots/3221897020/?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIucLhqIujhQMVZ4hQBh2S3w-bEAQYASABEgLMj_D_BwE

I better get 2 boots in my order!

[Bürggermeister]

The opposite of the Rick Allen signature drumsticks

[The Great Cull]

The opposite of the Rick Allen signature drumsticks

 

[Carnage]

I hope you get them half price.

[Skott Furys jizz rag]

In-laws. Shower of cunts.

[astfgyl]

Fuckin hard onions. Takes a week to soften the bastards in the saucepan

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

Last few years I switched to reducing onions in a mix of oil (or butter, depending on what I'm making) and water, just enough water to cover whatever the quantity of onions is, then high heat until the water's evaporated; leaves even the hardest onions just right. If that's what you're doing already and your titanium onions are still resisting, try a pinch of baking soda.

[astfgyl]

Lol, baking soda it is so, because nearly a litre of water wasn't enough for the rock bastards! sound for the tip