Tales Of Ordinary Madness

[Anvil]

There must be something in the water in Canada.   Remember being called evil and told how I was destined for the depths of hell in a McDonalds by a tall elderly lady in a wedding dress (veil and all) who had been talking to a cabbage.  (It might have been a Wendy's rather than a Mickey Ds).   This was in Toronto. 

In fairness the Canadians who we got chatting to in the place did give her some shit first... I've never poked crazy since as I was one freaked out 18 year old during the whole incident. 

If I wasn't there I would never have believed anyone if they told me that story. 

[mickO)))]

There must be something in the water in Canada.  Remember being called evil and told how I was destined for the depths of hell in a McDonalds by a tall elderly lady in a wedding dress (veil and all) who had been talking to a cabbage.  (It might have been a Wendy's rather than a Mickey Ds).  This was in Toronto. 

In fairness the Canadians who we got chatting to in the place did give her some shit first... I've never poked crazy since as I was one freaked out 18 year old during the whole incident. 

If I wasn't there I would never have believed anyone if they told me that story. 

Toronto is full of crazy people far more than you would see in Ireland. Noticed a major decline the last time I was there in November. Fella walking around a Tim Hortons who had shit his pants none of the staff wanted to know about it and then some elderly Indian fella screaming at the staff because they wouldn't give him the key to the staff toilet as the other lad had covered the public one's in shit. The apartment block I use to live was right beside a Mc Donalds walked into the toilet one night to see a woman passed out on the floor of the mens toilets with a syringe hanging out of her arm.


Almost anytime you walk into any food type place in the GTA you will see someone crazy up to something usually it is someone in the corner on their own having a full blown conversation with themsleves.

A few years ago Vancouver basically said they would turn a blind eye to drug use down town and that is why that place now resembles downtown Philly or Skid Row.

[Eoin McLove]

I once saw a deaf woman on a bus have a full blown argument with someone who wasn't there... in sign language! One of the strangest things I've ever witnessed.

[Mooncat]

There must be something in the water in Canada.   Remember being called evil and told how I was destined for the depths of hell in a McDonalds by a tall elderly lady in a wedding dress (veil and all) who had been talking to a cabbage.  (It might have been a Wendy's rather than a Mickey Ds).   This was in Toronto. 

In fairness the Canadians who we got chatting to in the place did give her some shit first... I've never poked crazy since as I was one freaked out 18 year old during the whole incident. 

If I wasn't there I would never have believed anyone if they told me that story. 

That's North America for you in general, every major city is just full of crazies walking the streets. They have far worse mental health support than we do back home. Most of them are just turned out onto the streets and become homeless. Another area where there's nowhere near enough support. The amount of people that come into the branch, sit down and immediately piss or shit themselves, then pick up the nearest object and try to fight staff with it is abnormal.

Ironically, for the record, I in general feel FAR safer in Canada than I did back home 

[StoutAndAle]

I have visited Canada twice in the last 12 months - Victoria and around Vancouver Island then on to Vancouver last June and then Toronto in February of this year.

Canada, for years, seemed to be portrayed both by the media and Canadians themselves as the USA's cooler, older brother. Free medi-care, lower drinking age, relaxed attitude to drugs.

It was a bit of trip to walk down East Hastings St. in Vancouver and see literally kilometers of pavement taken over by drug addicts and people with mental heath issues. Folks injecting themselves out in the open, crack pipes, the whole nine yards. And then, one street over, bars serving beer for $14 a pint and studio apartments going for $1million.

I went to see a gig in a venue called The Rickshaw on that street and had to explain to my missus that we'd be doing what Bill Hicks called the "100-metre Bum Hurdle" to get there.

Toronto was the same. There was a little park on King/Spadina nearby my hotel which had been turned into a smack/meth tent city. The receptionist advised that I walked around it rather than through it.

"It's not dangerous" she said "they'll just hassle you for money but, cos they're Canadian, they'll apologise afterwards for inconveniencing you".

I'm not sure if these two major cities are indicative of the Canada experience overall but on this evidence, as Mooncat said, it's just North America now.

I've been to the US dozens of times and recently the whole thing has gone on the backslide. Portland is rough, there are whole towns of people living on road medians in Los Angeles, New York is a real watermark of the have/have-nots and Chicago (to my mind - the great city in the USA) has become violently dangerous.

 

[Ollkiller]

Ya was in new York recently. The amount of mental people walking around is nuts. We give out about mental health services here but we're miles ahead in that regard.

Now I didn't feel unsafe in New York.found it friendly. Chicago though. Fuck me. We got the wrong bus one night. Got off the bus into an episode of the wire. Defo would never go back to Chicago.

[StoutAndAle]

Ya was in new York recently. The amount of mental people walking around is nuts. We give out about mental health services here but we're miles ahead in that regard.

Now I didn't feel unsafe in New York.found it friendly. Chicago though. Fuck me. We got the wrong bus one night. Got off the bus into an episode of the wire. Defo would never go back to Chicago.

I'm heading back to New York again in a few weeks. The element of danger and edginess (part of the charm in a way) that was there when I first visited 25 years ago has given way to selfishness and being completely unfriendly - as you said - in the last 15 years. The people were always brusque but that's because they were busy but now it's mainly self-entitled dickheads or rich people doing Instagram videos and pretending that there's not citizens sleeping in a box 20 metres from them.

I love Chicago. I go there a lot. But you have to pick your spots. Nobody has any business heading south of Bronzeville/Chinatown unless they live there - especially at night. Even The Loop (the downtown area) is now really sketchy at times even during business hours. I normally hang out around Bucktown/Wicker Park/Logan Sq./Old Town on the Northside which are relatively safe/quiet hipster areas with good bars etc. but, in saying that, a few days after I got home last time, my buddy who lives in the city told me that there had been an armed robbery turned murder and several home invasions within two blocks of my AirBNB. This all seems to have kicked off during COVID and remained ever since.

My buddy told me that there were roving gangs coming from South Chicago and starting shit during recent Gaza/Civil Rights/political parades/marches/protests which turned into looting events. He had to sit on his lawn along with other neighbours on the street so that their gaffs weren't burned down when the local liquor stores and electrical shops were inevitably hit.

[Mooncat]

Chicago sounds fuckin' lethal. Post-covid though everywhere is crazy. I wonder how long that'll all take to settle down. Could just be we're in the 70s part 2 for a while. Time to revisit the Death Wish series.


Still though, as bonkers as all that stuff is, there's just nowhere near the level of general inclination towards violence/vandalism etc. Back home (anywhere in the UK or Ireland really) you could get into a fight at almost anytime, particularly on a night out. Just that whole, "What the fuck are you lookin' at" vibe. People who are just inclined to wards fighting.  I'm not saying people like that don't exist in Canada (or the US) but the whole vibe is just different. I've never once felt unsafe or threatened anywhere in 9 years. The only way you'd get into a fight here is if you went out of your way to provoke one, and nobody does. It's great! Especially after growing up in the north and fearing for your life on a much too regular basis. That whole, "Hmm there's a group of fellas standing ahead up there, better cross over just to be sure".

[StoutAndAle]

My office building is in a complex that has a car park where a fair few desperate souls (and not the ones working here) congregate at night, drink cans, shoot heroin, sleep etc.

Most of them are harmless, there have been a few incidents down the years but that I guess that goes with a hard life like theirs.

One quite frustrating issue that we've had with these folks is them leaving their needles, cans/flagons and pissed/shitted sleeping bags (or tents) behind them for us to clean up.

Of late, I have noticed that the car park is remarkably tidy - even after weekends when, normally, it looks like The Cursed Earth from 2000AD.

There's one old boy called Seamus who has been drinking/living in the car park for years. He's a bit of a hippy - someone told me that he used to live quite well in a house on the West Cork coast but snapped from the drink/drugs. I normally find him on a pallet round the back of the building, dealing with whatever he's done to himself the night before.

However, last Monday morning I found him, sitting by our bike rack, eating sausage rolls with unbridled gusto from the Centra up the road.

"Any baccy, brudder?" he asked - knowing full well that I packed in the smokes over a decade ago.

"Nah, Seamus boy - Tommo will give you a smoke when he comes along though".

"I have me own!" says Seamus proudly producing a pack from his jacket.

"Fair play" says I "Tommo will be delighted".

"Mmm. Mmm. Hmmm. Earned myself a few bob." says he chewing while looking down into the greasy bag for another sausage roll.

"Oh yeah?" I nod, looking around to see what could have been missing/sold from the yard.

He beckoned me over conspiratorially and looked around cautiously.

"You know the cans?" he asked, licking grease off his fingers "The cans that the lads leave behind? I take them all to the shops and put them in the machine over there." says he jutting his chin in the direction the Lidl in the nearby shopping precinct.

"Is that right?"

"That's right, brudder. Gonna save up and send my niece to Majorca for a week too." says he pulling open a bag of something else from the hot counter and offering me first dip.

"No thanks, Seamy - take it handy though, right? You'll have to move from here before the security van comes around."

"On my way" says he picking up his stuff. "Hey, big brudder - look what else I got!" opening his backpack to reveal a stack of cans. "Nearly pays for itself!"



Earlier this morning, I was told that Seamus and some other homeless lad were both arrested after an unmerciful brawl broke out at the Lidl can return station. 

[Eoin McLove]

It's the dark side of canpitalism.

[Bürggermeister]

A mate who lives in Spain has converted part of his house to have a couple of rooms he lets out on AirB&B. He is now a regular source of great tales concerning the stream of total fucking head-the-balls he has to accomodate. From folks who never, and I mean never, leave the room other than to collect deliveroo food delivered to the door, to the amount of cunts who think they can steal towels from his fucking house when they leave, to the fucks who try to get into his separate section of the house when he's not there, it's a real eye-opener. He's currently got a lady there who's somehow going through 4 toilet rolls every day. Mental 

There was one a while back who described herself as a "serial entrepreneur", her website is amazing. I still don't have a fucking clue what it is she does or sells    https://lagertha.mn.co/

[Mooncat]

A mate who lives in Spain has converted part of his house to have a couple of rooms he lets out on AirB&B. He is now a regular source of great tales concerning the stream of total fucking head-the-balls he has to accomodate. From folks who never, and I mean never, leave the room other than to collect deliveroo food delivered to the door, to the amount of cunts who think they can steal towels from his fucking house when they leave, to the fucks who try to get into his separate section of the house when he's not there, it's a real eye-opener. He's currently got a lady there who's somehow going through 4 toilet rolls every day. Mental 

There was one a while back who described herself as a "serial entrepreneur", her website is amazing. I still don't have a fucking clue what it is she does or sells    https://lagertha.mn.co/

Ugh, seems like one of those cunts whose business is telling other cunts how they should run their business. The type of cunt that says things like 'circling the wagons', 'let's sunset that process', or 'when was the last time you did something for the first time'. Cunt.

[Caomhaoin]

A mate of mine used to own a small hotel in Menorca, and one of his guests shat the bed three nights in a row.

I had only minimal sympathy after discovering how much the cunt was charging in high season.

[Anvil]

My local pub had a phantom shitter for a while.  A regular was shitting themselves and then hiding their shitty boxers in one of the toilet cisterns... The landlady was very forthright in questioning who it was as it was normally her who had to fish them out.  Don't know if she ever found out who it was, or if she did she kept their identity very secret. 

[Ducky]

Fucking hell lads.

We had a lad in the gym who used to leave his clothes strewn around the dressing room. Ultimately bad form, but whatever, we took to just balling them up and throwing them one side.

That was all fine and dandy until one of the boys picked up his trackkie pants to be greeted by a gooey shite smooshed into the mesh lining.

The same bucko had really poor deadlift technique too. He'd drop in such a manner that he'd skin his shins, and leave bits of it on the barbell.