Tips for better living

[The Heretic]

My tips for better living is to be as independent as possible with minimal reliance on others but at the same time help others when they need it

Avoid processed foods as much as possible

[Emphyrio]

That's a nice outlook. Make sure you fit in time for calling people cunts, though.

[The Heretic]

That's a nice outlook. Make sure you fit in time for calling people cunts, though.

Goes without saying! 

[Eoin McLove]

#22. If you're walking in the scary, dark, old forest and you hear spooky music start to play, just turn around and keep walking until it stops.

[Barnacle Billy]

Whistling along to it also works....

[Eoin McLove]

#75. If you step in dog shite, find the nearest brand new carpet and walk across it; dog shit is attracted to the soles of shoes, but even more attracted to brand new carpet.

[Eoin McLove]

#60. If you want to boost morale, either at home or in work, learn to mumble incoherently.

[Eoin McLove]

#22. If you want to make new friends, one-up everyone you meet. For example, if they tell you they have a big shed, easy! Tell them you have two! They'll be so impressed they'll want to hang out with you.

[Barnacle Billy]

#22. If you want to make new friends, one-up everyone you meet. For example, if they tell you they have a big shed, easy! Tell them you have two! They'll be so impressed they'll want to hang out with you.

This works especially well with park bench dwellers. With the newfound news on the 50% uptake on their favourite beverage, they'll hand you that cayan...

*just bring a tissue to wipe the lip in case it's open*

[Carnage]

There is not such thing as too much garlic.

[StoutAndAle]

Read and memorise every synopsis of the greatest films made from 1920 to 2026. You will seem cultured - even if you haven't seen them -and also be able to tie the conversation together easily.

For example - at dinner parties when noveau-posh Muireann and Shane are talking about their daughter taking up the clarinet in school you can say;

"Woody Allen directed Annie Hall in 1977 - a film which famously contains very little background music. Allen himself is a clarinet player but I wouldn't ask him to give your daughter lessons. Unless you want Woody Allen as a son-in-law. Am I right, Muireann? Heyo!"

[Giggles]

   

[Barnacle Billy]

Dunno if it's an exact fit for this thread, but had a good long look at this today while taking a shite. It certainly passed a few mins, in fact the shite had air dried itself by the time the video finished.

https://youtu.be/ePDl1JNqjpM?is=m2ZHQe4wiAR4gk28

I'd be reasonably confident now should the need ever arise. Anyone else here ever successfully land a passenger plane? Is this info reliable?

Take all the time you need boys...





It's like we're living in one big giant simulation (pun intended)...

[astfgyl]

There is not such thing as too much garlic.

I thought this was true for the longest time but then I got a crazy tray (chips, kebab meat, taco mince, onions, lettuce, cheese, chicken tenders, chilli and garlic sauce) and through all of those flavours, the whole thing was ruined by the ridiculously garlicky sauce that overpowered every other thing that was going on there.

I was devastated