Tips for better living

[Eoin McLove]

If you can manage to whistle even more tunelessly than him, your happiness will increase exponentially.

[Eoin McLove]

12. If you stretch your foreskin a little bit every day, gradually over time it becomes incredibly stretchy and flexible so if you ever find yourself homeless, you will never be stuck for a sleeping bag.

[The Heretic]

I haven't had southern fried chicken for almost 27 years, I had some last night, now I know why I haven't had any for 27 years, its like eating death, that's me done....avoid to stay healthy....

[Eoin McLove]

#12 If you really want to get a pet dog but you can't afford it or don't feel up to the responsibility, why not carry a small green bag full of your own shit when you go for a walk?

[OpenSores]

#12 If you really want to get a pet dog but you can't afford it or don't feel up to the responsibility, why not carry a small green bag full of your own shit when you go for a walk?

    

[Eoin McLove]

#33 If you are poor but have delusions of grandeur, flush the toilet while you're still sitting on it and pretend you live in a house with a bidet.

[ochoill]

When having a shower, piss down onto your shins first and use that to wash your legs to save on hot water

[StoutAndAle]

Lazy? Useless? Unemployed? Unemployable?

Tell people that you are a 3rd Dan Black Belt in karate (pronounced carr-Ah-TEE!)

A small investment in a black-belt from Sports Direct/Decathlon will ensure that you can wander into a Centra at 11am of a Tuesday wearing your pajamas replete with slippers and said belt wrapped around your waist.

"Pajamas? No, no, no. This is my karate Gi. It was given to me after I achieved my 3rd Dan level. Yes, it has a picture of what looks like Santa on it but this is, in fact, General Kwan - god of war."

If questioned about your training - use some off-hand metal references such as "I studied under Sifu Khanate in Kowloon Walled City".

If pushed for a demonstration of your skills - adopt a faraway, wistful look and tell the person "My hands have been registered as lethal weapons in Templemore Garda Training college and I am not allowed, by law, to do a single move". 

Do say: "My master says that one must look to the celestial and never focus on the self. I walk the way of peace."

Do NOT say: "I could take you AND your fucking cousins in a scrap."

[Barnacle Billy]

Do you want to know how to make a years supply of laundry detergent for €40..?

[moose]

71. If you hate your job, or indeed your entire life, just learn to whistle. Everything is better when you're whistling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e37bWhZOg1o

[Eoin McLove]

Can't argue with that 

[91/30]

71. If you hate your job, or indeed your entire life, just learn to whistle. Everything is better when you're whistling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e37bWhZOg1o

71. If you hate your job, or indeed your entire life, just learn to whistle. Everything is better when you're whistling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e37bWhZOg1o

True story from last week, I was in an engineering workshop i go to from time to time looking at some equipment and one of the welders who I've spoken to a few times and who is from the north of England whistles continuously/ loudly / all the fuckin time.  Must drive his work mates mental except he's a hell of a nice fella so they put up with it.  For example when I turned up, he was whistling along loudly to every note of a Davy Spillane uileann pipe tune he was playing on his Bluetooth speaker.....that also played at full blast.  Next song was 'No Limits' by 2Unlimited  so he whistled all of that .....and so on....haha  a complete lunatic.  This is going on in a typical Australian workplace, a welding and machining workshop with workers from all over the world

[91/30]

71. If you hate your job, or indeed your entire life, just learn to whistle. Everything is better when you're whistling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e37bWhZOg1o

71. If you hate your job, or indeed your entire life, just learn to whistle. Everything is better when you're whistling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e37bWhZOg1o

True story from last week, I was in an engineering workshop i go to from time to time looking at some equipment and one of the welders who I've spoken to a few times and who is from the north of England whistles continuously/ loudly / all the fuckin time.  Must drive his work mates mental except he's a hell of a nice fella so they put up with it.  For example when I turned up, he was whistling along loudly to every note of a Davy Spillane uileann pipe tune he was playing on his Bluetooth speaker.....that also played at full blast.  Next song was 'No Limits' by 2Unlimited  so he whistled all of that .....and so on....haha  a complete lunatic.  This is going on in a typical Australian workplace, a welding and machining workshop with workers from all over the world

[Eoin McLove]

Whereabouts in Aus are you?

[91/30]

Whereabouts in Aus are you?

Gold Coast