Nicking this from another site because it has the potential for a few laughs. What are some of the funniest, stupidest or craziest things people have said to you about metal over the years?
When I was a sprout I was visiting my grandparents and wearing a Suicidal Tendencies t-shirt. My granny turns to my parents all seriously and says, 'Suicidal Tendencies are banned in Navan!' :laugh:
Around ten years ago I was sitting at the table at Christmas and happened to be wearing Candlemass t-shirt. My uncle walks behind me and sees the print on the back of the t-shirt and jokingly grips my shoulders and goes 'Doooooom!'
My mad, religious aunty perks up at this and asks what he's talking about and I tell her it's the backprint of my t-shirt.
Her serious reply- 'It'll get you in the end'.
Eh, cheers...
And another garment related incident I remember was back when I was in college, so closing in on 20 years ago, I'm on the bus and I'm wearing the Today is the Day 'In the Eyes of God' t-shirt and this mental drunk oul one gets on the bus. She's standing over me leering at my t-shirt and starts growling at me about my evil t-shirt with its evil blacks and evil reds. She says, 'I'm sure your mother is very proud' and I tell her to go fuck herself. She heads off upstairs. A while later she is getting off the bus and starts trying to shove a bottle of holy water into my hand :laugh:
I tell you, it's the non- metal spastics I'm often more concerned about.
Went down to the shop early one Saturday morning hungover as hell. Had a dying fetus t shirt on me. An ould one goes "that's fucking disgraceful". I replied "it's ok, we eat the fetus after it dies". She was not impressed.
Driving in the car with a lad i used to work with, cant remember exactly what i was listening to but im sure it was nothing too outrageous as i was with him. He asked me 'is this that i wanna fuck a dog in the ass type music' as apparently his only frame of reference to 'heavy rock' music was a blink 182 song.
Was watching Headbangers Ball back in the day and the ma walks in as the credits to Suicidal Tendencies pop up. It's difficult explaining that's it's just a band, and it opened the door to frequent check ins that I was ok.
The da once asked what rubbish I was listening to. Further to Suicidal Tendencies, I answered Facelift, rather than open up an Alice in Chains can of worms. S and M would have been a more awkward conversation than suicide. He said I could do with one alright.
I'm sure many others will come to mind.
Was on my way up to see Mael Mordha in the Gasworks years back and some fella (who I assumed to be lost), stopped me and asked me did I know where the nearest church was. When I told him I didn't he put his hand on my shoulder and said "Would you like me to show you". I asked him what the fuck he was on about and he pointed at my t-shirt and told me it was never too late to reject Satan and his evil ways.
Another time I (now regrettably) had a Hatebreed t-shirt on and some fella in work thought it was some coeliac group and asked me why I hated bread and did it make me that sick. :laugh:
And from one metalhead to another, while at Judas Priest in the O2 I was standing near the back minding my own business when some locked spa tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at Rob Halford and said "hi look lad... that's you up there!" Of course being bald with a beard I've gotten the Halford lark for a while but having it done when Halford was in the same building was pretty fucking funny.
Was in the barbers one day getting the head shaved and the barber pointed out my Sodom shirt and started asking about the band. Just explained that they were a heavy metal band, and he said he used to listen to Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera(should have been the first warning sign) and all that so we got talking about music. Conversation goes on anyway and he says it's been a couple years since he's listened to much, ever since the early 00s when nu metal took over. Grand, nu metal isn't for everybody, not for me either but sure look. Then he goes on to talk about how he's glad that Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell were dead because they ruined metal music...
In college one time we'd just finished a lecture and my group went up to the lecturer because we wanted to ask him a couple questions. Finished asking the questions and the lecturer points out my Motorhead shirt. I asked if he was a fan and he said no, the lads who would wear the Motorhead shirts when he was in school used to bully him. Bit awkward.
Friend of mine has been lectured by random people several times in Canada for wearing a Pig Destroyer shirt.
All time best for me was my ma, after seeing a bit of that old Channel 4 interview with Glen Benton years ago saying
"Now Jamie, there's death metal and there's death metal"
She had no idea how unintentionally right she was.
My mother was looking through a Akercocke cd booklet and when I came home from school she was asking me where the cd was as she wanted to hear this band that David Gray was in. She thought it was that singer songwriter fella who she was listening to at the time!
Wiseblood's post there just reminded me of an incident with some lad who came into the shop when I worked in Merro's. At one point there was a metal shelf prominently displayed next to the counter full of what was mostly Invictus distro stuff, and this old maths teacher lad who was browsing in the shop looked it up and down before strolling over to the counter to casually tell me how I needed to be saved, and how I was going to burn in hell for selling the devil's music.
At the height of the black metal explosion in the early 90s there were a couple of kids in the year below me in my secondary school who were really into Emperor. One of them would actually make raise the horns and say "Ave" whenever he passed me in the hall, which still cracks me up to think about.
Also, my daughter telling me when she was younger that the vocals on the Vircolac demo sounded like "A sailor getting sick on his boat" is a good one.
Used to have an awful time getting me ma to wash my Napalm Death 3rd Reich long sleeved shirt.
Just couldn't convince her that I wasn't a Nazi even though I pointed out the circle-backslash symbol across each Swastika.
On the plus side, I learned how to use a washing machine.
"Why are you listening to that weirdo? Isn't he the chap who wears nappies on his head?"
My mam annoyed to find a Marilyn Manson CD in my room when I was 14.
Which distressed her enough to search my room and find something else which she also confronted me on.
"What's that up in your room?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The white substance on top of your desk. The drugs."
"What are you talking about, what drugs?!"
"The cocaine."
"Mam....that's chalk from school."
When I first started getting into metal one lad on my street (who was a few years younger, so probably 13 at the time) used to mockingly throw me the "horns up" and shout "whoa dude, In listening to Metackanack!".
When to see err, Metackanack in 2009 (the gig with Mastodon and Alice in Chains on the bill, maybe Marley Park?) and sure who do I run into.
Double post, or something.
Quote from: nukeabuse on January 10, 2020, 01:22:36 PM
Driving in the car with a lad i used to work with, cant remember exactly what i was listening to but im sure it was nothing too outrageous as i was with him. He asked me 'is this that i wanna fuck a dog in the ass type music' as apparently his only frame of reference to 'heavy rock' music was a blink 182 song.
I had slayer on in work, my boss called it "head down the bog, anal rape music"!!
Yep, ok
When Suicidal Tendencies played the Music Centre there was a few of us queuing up early to have some cans. Some auld lad walks by, "bit of a rock show on tonight lads? Who's playing?"
Tell him the name, gets an absolutely incredulous look on his face, nearly seems like he's about to have a stroke
"suici...unbelievable...sui...suicdal tendencies?? What about LIVING TENDENCIES LADS?"
My aunt from New York came home with her 2 boys in the late 80s. Same lads that really got me into metal in a big way. I think the Priest trial was either going on or being touted so she had it all off about PMRC etc. This shit was huge in the states.
So herself and my mother decided they were going to tackle our love for metal that week.
As evidence she played Judas Priest's Parental
Guidance as exhibit A. We rolled about the place laughing for as well as liking priest had all kinds of satanic and fucked up records in my room that they were unaware of. In all fairness my mother hadn't a clue really what was going on.
When I tell my mother that I'm heading off to London for a gig I still get "when are you going to stop listening to that rubbish?!". I'm 45 FFS!
'Are you still listening to that shit' is probably the most used for every metal head over 20 years old.
My mom, being curious about the band I'm playing in, said she looked up a video and that "there doesn't seem to be much.......music to it?"
Made me chuckle. Thanks mom.
Quote from: Paul keohane on January 10, 2020, 03:40:50 PM
'Are you still listening to that shit' is probably the most used for every metal head over 20 years old.
That's strange because it was around then that you said if you were still into metal when you were 30 you'd shoot yourself or words to that effect?? And you're 40 now, grow up FFS! 🤣😛
I think we were on our way back into Dublin city after a Slayer gig and some joe soap started roaring "wah woarrr warrrr woar" at us taking off metal singing, to which I replied "how did you know the words?" 😃
I remember being in 2nd year in school and we had a young Christian brother teaching us religion. Was asking us what he liked. Good few of us said metal music and he proceeds to go into a big schpiel about the dangers of Guns N Roooses, Iron Maaaiden and Nierrrvaana in his big thick boggery Nyavan accent. He used get awful worked up about stuff and spittle would start forming on his lip and he'd get that spit string that connects the top of the mouth to the bottom of the mouth, so he was baptised 'gip lip' by some smart arse. Makes me wretch even thinking about it now.
We didn't go too far into all the Slayer, Deicide and black metal that was out there coz he was a massive fucker who playec football for Meath and he could have easily battered 9 or 10 of us in the blink of an eye.
Another tine was some oul lad in a pub saying 'ah yis like that kill yer granny, eat yer mother music so?'
Quote from: Snare on January 10, 2020, 05:04:44 PM
Quote from: Paul keohane on January 10, 2020, 03:40:50 PM
'Are you still listening to that shit' is probably the most used for every metal head over 20 years old.
That's strange because it was around then that you said if you were still into metal when you were 30 you'd shoot yourself or words to that effect?? And you're 40 now, grow up FFS! 🤣😛
I think we were on our way back into Dublin city after a Slayer gig and some joe soap started roaring "wah woarrr warrrr woar" at us taking off metal singing, to which I replied "how did you know the words?" 😃
i miss calculated how long id be still listening to this shite!
Ah yes i remember that knacker knowing the lyrics to most DM songs!
Years back a bus load of us from Cork stopped in kilkenny on our way to The Glenside metal meeting (remember that),on our way into the shop in the petrol station one local hick says to one of his buddies 'its a gang of mountain bikers'.As one of the lads said,i wouldn't fancy cycling up a mountain in these New Rocks (boots).
The classic Butchered at Birth Longsleeve, mother says you shouldn't wear that people will think you are supporting abortion. Apart from that - the usual they should all be locked up for making that racket
Not remotely 'mad' by any means, but remember talking to one of the lads at work years ago when I first started my job and the topic of music came up for whatever reason. Told him I listened to metal and he said "oh you like all that heavy stuff like Van Halen". This was only about 10 years ago so it's not like Van Halen were at their peak or anything. Just thought it was amusing that he considered Van Halen to be representative of metal as a whole, or to even describe them as 'heavy'.
Quote from: John Kimble on January 10, 2020, 06:07:51 PM
Not remotely 'mad' by any means, but remember talking to one of the lads at work years ago when I first started my job and the topic of music came up for whatever reason. Told him I listened to metal and he said "oh you like all that heavy stuff like Van Halen". This was only about 10 years ago so it's not like Van Halen were at their peak or anything. Just thought it was amusing that he considered Van Halen to be representative of metal as a whole, or to even describe them as 'heavy'.
With years when people ask me what music im into i just say rock,Lizzy ,Metallica,GNR etc,i just couldnt be fucked getting into explaining to some gimp that some of my favourite bands are AngelCorpse ,Rotting Christ ,Dead Congregation etc etc.Its just not worth it!
Extremely religious grandmother going ballistic because of a Impaled Nazarene sleeveprint. Luckily enough I had another shirt over it, so all she saw was "Crucified Whore" and not the "Christ is the" bit.
Other, equally as holy grandmother in Florida acouple of years ago actually approved of my Kreator shirt, saying. "Your shirt is correct, why can't people accept Satan is real?"
True story.....In the early 90's I was in hospital for back surgery when the surgeon came in with his team to review me before my operation the next day. I had an ACDC tshirt on and one of the female student doctors in tow looked at it and said..."you'll be under the razors edge tomorrow alright"..funny as fuck
Never had anything too egregious said to me, only the usual "how can you listen to that freak music" type comments. When I was a teenager just getting into Slayer my strongly Catholic mother used to regularly threaten to throw my CDs in the fire as she didn't want me listening to that devil music. She softened a bit on the subject over time but there would always be a groan when I announced I was off to Dublin to metal gigs and disapproving tuts at the t shirts I'd come home with :laugh:
Pure sound country lad I used to work with years ago said " I used to be into all that heavy shtuff. I musta worn out that fecking Meatloaf tape." Still get a laugh out of it.
A cousin told me before that he too used to listen to metal, that is until he heard The Stone Roses. Ugh!! The fuckin, stupid, cunting Stone Roses of all bands.
Quote from: open face surgery on January 10, 2020, 09:53:37 PM
Pure sound country lad I used to work with years ago said " I used to be into all that heavy shtuff. I musta worn out that fecking Meatloaf tape." Still get a laugh out of it.
A cousin told me before that he too used to listen to metal, that is until he heard The Stone Roses. Ugh!! The fuckin, stupid, cunting Stone Roses of all bands.
Don't knock the Roses man :) I've heard it said a few times that it was the prodigy that killed metal in the 90s but never heard someone having their head turned by the stone roses
Can't stand them. Love The Prodigy though.
Around the early 90s when photocopying guitar tabs was still a thing, my Mother was horrified to find the tabs for Dead Embryonic Cells in my room. "Some poor woman that lost a child could see that and it could upset her."
I fucking hate when that happens. You're sitting in your house listening to music, minding your own business, and a total stranger walks in and gets offended. It always makes me feel so ashamed.
Quote from: Anton Arcane on January 10, 2020, 10:49:23 PM
Around the early 90s when photocopying guitar tabs was still a thing, my Mother was horrified to find the tabs for Dead Embryonic Cells in my room. "Some poor woman that lost a child could see that and it could upset her."
That's fucking hilarious, as if you're going to be hanging around maternity wards or abortion clinics learning to play a Sepultura song :laugh:
Does bring me back to the days of having a stack of A4 paper in my room from printed out guitar tabs in my teens.... before I realised that I have the manual dexterity of someone who's lost several fingers to frostbite....
We used to have an RE teacher who would use entire classes to play us an audio tape of the book 'Devil's Disciples: The Truth about Rock Music' in the late 80's! The author was some US religious nutjob. Over the term this fucking tape was rolled out numerous times and he even started organizing gigs with local Christian 'metal' bands called shit like Noah's Ark to try and get us away from the evil of rock music - even Stryper were called out for being evil which is hilarious really!
Anyway - fast forward a number of years and the teacher got sent away for sexually abusing pupils! Cunt!!
Child abuse is grand as long as it's not Satanic.
Me and a mate were walking down the road one day and this young wan about 4 years of age was cycling towards us, the bike had stabilizers on it that's how young she was, probably had a little basket and a bell as well and ribbons on the handlebars. Anyway as soon as she gets to us, she roars "hippies!"
'Here lad, you know Nirvana killed himself, don't ya'?
My auld lad was having a nose through my CDs years ago, I must have been a late teenager - 'Hi get this shit out of my house'.
Quote from: northside hoop on January 11, 2020, 01:52:45 PMthis young wan about 4 years of age was cycling towards us, .... Anyway as soon as she gets to us, she roars "hippies!"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Classic! That's pure gold!
I've gotten the phrase "you're actually a really nice person" or something along the lines of "you're kinda normal" said to me so many time by new work colleagues or people at random houses parties!
I always question people when they say something like this and ask them what did they think I was gonna be like!
Most people say "i dunno, just not nornal" however the best response ever was some lad said "well you listen to the Kill your Goldfish music so i thought you'd be talking about killing and stuff"
Needless to say all my non metal mates cracked up laughing so now if I'm off to a gig they just say "another Kill your Goldfish gig" :abbath: :abbath:
Quote from: 101_North on January 11, 2020, 10:27:11 AM
We used to have an RE teacher who would use entire classes to play us an audio tape of the book 'Devil's Disciples: The Truth about Rock Music' in the late 80's! The author was some US religious nutjob. Over the term this fucking tape was rolled out numerous times and he even started organizing gigs with local Christian 'metal' bands called shit like Noah's Ark to try and get us away from the evil of rock music - even Stryper were called out for being evil which is hilarious really!
Anyway - fast forward a number of years and the teacher got sent away for sexually abusing pupils! Cunt!!
Read that book in RE class, brilliant book in a not meant to be funny way.
Anti Christ devils children, ACDC
Knights in Satan's service, KISS. 😂😂😂
One of my friends Dads pulled up beside us as young lads, rolled the window down and said 'Cheer up goths'! and sped away:)
Quote from: Caomhaoin on January 12, 2020, 12:37:40 PM
One of my friends Dads pulled up beside us as young lads, rolled the window down and said 'Cheer up goths'! and sped away:)
:laugh:
I went to see Tori Amos play in Vicar Street in 2005. Was in the jacks and I was wearing a Nile t-shirt. There's another lad in there wearing a Slayer t-shirt.
He says "don't you hate when the bird drags you to see non-metal bands?". I says nope, I'm here to see Tori Amos play. He chirps back "thank fuck! I love her too but all the boys slag me about being into gay music like hers".
Fair enough lad.
"cheer up goths". Classic
I remember the aul lad wanting me to take down a few GnR and Maiden posters from the bedroom as they "bring a bad omen to the house". Thankfully nothing ever happened to the house or I would have been blamed to no end :laugh:
Walking up the road as a teenager minding my business when some lad going by in a car, leans out the window and in the thickest Russian accent imaginable bellows "HEY DRACULA, FUCK YOUUUUU"
I was in town one day, aged about 18 or so, wearing an Maiden t-shirt and some knacker walks up to me, drums on my chest and (in a thick Sligo knacker accent) sings "I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden bbbaaabbbyyy".
Fucking hate Weatus, talentless oiks.
Quote from: Yolo Swaggins on January 12, 2020, 02:11:43 PM
Walking up the road as a teenager minding my business when some lad going by in a car, leans out the window and in the thickest Russian accent imaginable bellows "HEY DRACULA, FUCK YOUUUUU"
:laugh: :laugh: ah lads!
Ya, that's fuckin gas.
When I left school I did a but of carpentry and I was working with the 2 biggest rednecks ever and they were asking me one day was I in some kind of cult cos I was wearing a Marilyn mansion t-shirt but the best bit was on the way home the boss said ya know Ollie your sound and all but you're an awful odd bollix.
Thanks haha.
In the early noughties and id been a metal head for years at this stage I must have in some half drunk conciliatory mood paid Justin Timberlakes output some compliment in terms of the sound/production /whatever and my sister seizes on it and I get the Justified cd for my next birthday present. Ehhh, nah.
Quote from: Yolo Swaggins on January 12, 2020, 02:11:43 PM
Walking up the road as a teenager minding my business when some lad going by in a car, leans out the window and in the thickest Russian accent imaginable bellows "HEY DRACULA, FUCK YOUUUUU"
:laugh:
Quote from: Grim Reality on January 12, 2020, 10:21:22 PM
In the early noughties and id been a metal head for years at this stage I must have in some half drunk conciliatory mood paid Justin Timberlakes output some compliment in terms of the sound/production /whatever and my sister seizes on it and I get the Justified cd for my next birthday present. Ehhh, nah.
So close to being saved. Next Christmas...
QuoteI must have in some half drunk conciliatory mood paid Justin Timberlakes output some compliment
This reminds me, it's the shock when people realise you're probably more musically open minded than most. the expectation is there that you listen to Autopsy 100% of the time.
If I had a euro for the amount of times I've been given the "Didn't think you'd be into that" line.
Quote from: Cryptic Stench on January 13, 2020, 07:07:40 AM
QuoteI must have in some half drunk conciliatory mood paid Justin Timberlakes output some compliment
This reminds me, it's the shock when people realise you're probably more musically open minded than most. the expectation is there that you listen to Autopsy 100% of the time.
If I had a euro for the amount of times I've been given the "Didn't think you'd be into that" line.
That's an interesting one because I know people (we'll call them the black metal brigade) who think you're not a metal head if you listen to the likes of oasis or whoever. Good music is good music like...
Used to wear my Isis hoodie, until a certain point in time. Two guesses why and the first doesn't count. Yeah, Daesh came to be known as ISIS in the west, but Isis was an Egyptian goddess first and language is mutable and so forth - cyclical argument. Didn't want to be seen as a terrorist sympathiser though, like some auld one narked at me.
I had two people come up real close to have a quare oul look at my Isis t-shirt at a gig... a metal gig... I was on the stage playing. They even took a pic of it.
Quote from: Yolo Swaggins on January 12, 2020, 02:11:43 PM
Walking up the road as a teenager minding my business when some lad going by in a car, leans out the window and in the thickest Russian accent imaginable bellows "HEY DRACULA, FUCK YOUUUUU"
:laugh: Gas lads. Obviously not a fan of bloodsuckers.
:laugh:
Fuck me, people are retarded. I bet you're on file in some geek's gaff.