Jokes

[Cosmic_Equilibrium]

How do ships keep up with the news?

Seafax.

[astfgyl]

Dunnes Stores have a Michael Jackson sale on to coincide with the release of the film...

Boys trousers half off

[Eoin McLove]

What's the difference between a fridge and an arsehole?
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

How do non- binary people kill people?
They / them.

[Anvil]

 

Two fish in a tank.  One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing"?

[Jward]

Two fish in a tank.  One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing"?

That's a f*ckin beaut! 

[Don Gately]

What's the difference between a fridge and an arsehole?
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

How do non- binary people kill people?
They / them.

I don't get the 2nd joke

[Eoin McLove]

They slash them.

[Kunt 4 Life]

Would people who call themselves non binary find that joke funny or offensive?

[The Heretic]

[open face surgery]

Would people who call themselves non binary find that joke funny or offensive?

Who gives an absolute fuck!?!

[Sworntothecans]

Saw this one in a thread about Gilbert Gottfried jokes the other day:



A man goes to see his wife in the hospital. She has been getting sicker and sicker and is clearly in the final days of her life. He goes to her and holds her hand and stares into his wife's eyes and asks her if there is anything at all he can do for her.


 His wife can barely speak and her skin is pale, cheeks sunken. She asks her husband to please, fuck her in the ass. The husband is surprised at her request and asks her if she is sure. With the same weak voice she again asks him to fuck her in the ass.



The man is unsure but wants to do as his wife asks. He gets up and closes the door and moves to the bed. He goes to his wife and starts fucking her in the ass. As he is fucking her she starts moaning loudly. The color is returning to her cheeks. She is getting louder and louder screaming out YES!

Then suddenly the man gets off her, burying his face in his hands crying. The woman goes to him and tells him she feels amazing and asks what was wrong? The man sobbing, lifts his head and tells her


 "I could have saved my father."

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

How do non- binary people kill people?
They / them.

 

That's quality.

[Kunt 4 Life]

Would people who call themselves non binary find that joke funny or offensive?

Who gives an absolute fuck!?!

True, but if it offends then that makes it better

[Ollkiller]

Saw this one in a thread about Gilbert Gottfried jokes the other day:



A man goes to see his wife in the hospital. She has been getting sicker and sicker and is clearly in the final days of her life. He goes to her and holds her hand and stares into his wife's eyes and asks her if there is anything at all he can do for her.


 His wife can barely speak and her skin is pale, cheeks sunken. She asks her husband to please, fuck her in the ass. The husband is surprised at her request and asks her if she is sure. With the same weak voice she again asks him to fuck her in the ass.



The man is unsure but wants to do as his wife asks. He gets up and closes the door and moves to the bed. He goes to his wife and starts fucking her in the ass. As he is fucking her she starts moaning loudly. The color is returning to her cheeks. She is getting louder and louder screaming out YES!

Then suddenly the man gets off her, burying his face in his hands crying. The woman goes to him and tells him she feels amazing and asks what was wrong? The man sobbing, lifts his head and tells her


 "I could have saved my father."

😅

[Mooncat]

How do ships keep up with the news?

Seafax.

This has got to be the most "over the heads of Gen Z" joke in this whole thread  Not that any of them are on here!

Here's a quick blast of nostalgia (if you can forgive the AI voiceover) https://youtube.com/shorts/x37nKjcGwlM?si=93FAVFW3iu1HpqJe

I even remembered the football page was 302! I used to check it multiple times a day, every single day