Mad shit your kids come out with

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

"Is Mbappé a real person?"
"Of course he is, sure you've seen him playing football. Why do you ask? Did one of your friends tell you he's not real?"
"No, but we never see him when we're out walking."

[Maggot Colony]

My wife: "I love you, baba."

My son: "You have big head, Mammy."

[Circlepit]

My father died towards the end of the last lockdown. As a result like many others the funeral was weird.
Anyway my daughter was 4 just turning 5 at the time.
Before we went to the funeral home my brother was sorting out belongings that had been collected from the hospital.
My daughter said " that's the last we'll bee seeing of him" That was in relation to my father not my brother.

The casket was open at the funeral home ( it wasn't a Covid related death) more for my nowhere to see him as she couldn't see him in hospital.
My daughter marched up, had a look and went down to my mother and said " don't worry granny , at least he wasn't squashed by a bus so he's not all flat"
Myself and my older brother exploded with laughter.

[open face surgery]

  

[astfgyl]

 

Had similar myself years ago with the old man laid out in the funeral home and the young lad gives me a look like something was bugging him.

What's up lad are you okay?

Yeah.... is this heaven??!

[open face surgery]

My niece rather than daughter but coming down Croagh Patrick a few years ago, I think she was 9, we met people having a rest before the top to which she quips "if you're lost, go up!".