Return of THE FEAR!

[El_ogre_del_Dublinios]

 I'm Determined to keep this thread going even if I have to do it single handedly.

Another quick one

Me and a mate went on the piss in town, I think we ended up in the foggy one of the nights scobes was djing, got absolutely twisted and got chatting to these two birds. The two of them were well up for it or so it seemed, bought them loads of drinks, chatting them up for ages , then the two of them get up, say to us, we both have fellas yiz clowns and leave the bar. Lol

After this we land back in me mates gaff and I pass out on the couch, me mate gets up in the morning (well more like 3 in the day but sure look)  to get a pint of water and goes to check on me. I'm still asleep at this point so I don't remember, but he tells me he came into the room, said "you awake man?" And I responded "ehhh 2 pints of Guinness, a shot of jemmy and a pack of salt and vinegar please chief". In my head I must have thought I was still in the pub lol ( I also have a vague  memory of looking for the jaxs and wandering into his housemates room, leading to a serious dose of the fear wondering if I'd shat in the poor lads bed or something ) needless to say the head was sore that day

[nukeabuse]

The classic brain slip thinking your somewhere else, we call it bleepblurging. Usual the result of illicit substances tho.

One of the better examples of it happened after a work night out. For context the job was call centre and for every sale you completed you got a 7£ bonus.

Me my manager and another lad left the party early to come back to my gaff to do our own partying as my mate had got some MD of the dark web that they wanted to try. Everything was going well, getting weird, shit talking and manager lifts out his wallet and starts counting out £ coins, he then hands said coins to my housemate who didn't work with us. My mates like what are you doing? My manager looks him dead in the eye and told him it was for booking that sale on for Monday. As soon as he said it he came back round and realised what he'd been saying. The same night the other lad went on a 20 minute rant directed at the manager of the company because he thought he was chatting to her, when he was actually lying with his eyes closed monged out on my sofa.

Plenty of other great examples but too dying to recall them right now.

[El_ogre_del_Dublinios]

The classic brain slip thinking your somewhere else, we call it bleepblurging. Usual the result of illicit substances tho.

One of the better examples of it happened after a work night out. For context the job was call centre and for every sale you completed you got a 7£ bonus.

Me my manager and another lad left the party early to come back to my gaff to do our own partying as my mate had got some MD of the dark web that they wanted to try. Everything was going well, getting weird, shit talking and manager lifts out his wallet and starts counting out £ coins, he then hands said coins to my housemate who didn't work with us. My mates like what are you doing? My manager looks him dead in the eye and told him it was for booking that sale on for Monday. As soon as he said it he came back round and realised what he'd been saying. The same night the other lad went on a 20 minute rant directed at the manager of the company because he thought he was chatting to her, when he was actually lying with his eyes closed monged out on my sofa.


Plenty of other great examples but too dying to recall them right now.

common enough then is it? not sure if i had taken anything but id say i didnt cos the lad i was with wouldn't stand for it really.

[StoutAndAle]

Not a story about me this time but one that I witnessed (sort of).

At Desertfest in Berlin the bones of a decade ago now - there was a fair few of us went - we all knew sort of knew each other either well or in passing. The majority of the group elected to stay in a very nice hotel near the Hauptbahnhof, couple of hundred bucks for a room on your own, peace and quiet etc - while one or two of the other lads, including our hero - Ducky, a mote of my mate Roddy, decided to stay in a cheap hostel nearer the venue in Friedrichshain.

Arrival in Berlin around 0900hrs  A few of us have been here before and know where to go - S-Bahn blah blah blah.

Someone says to Ducky (who hasn't been to Berlin before) - "If you grab the same train as us, I'll tell you where to get out so you guys can go to the hostel".

"I have a few places I want to see around town that I Googled so I'm going to do that" says Ducky.

This means his patented "where is the cheapest pint and food in ~insert city here~" Google search. He wouldn't be fond of spending a few quid.

So off he goes on his own while the rest of us get the train. One of the boys points out to Al, the other lad staying in the same hostel, where his stop is and on we go.

Few hours later all checked-in to the nice hotel and down in the F'hain/X-berg area drinking beers, enjoying the early spring sunshine and having the craic. Talking about what bands were looking forward to seeing when the fest starts the next day. Al arrives and asks if Ducky is with us. He isn't.

"Is he not with you?"

"I saw him at the hostel about an hour ago. He was a bit steamed and telling some young wan behind the desk that his stuff better not go missing from the dorm. That he wouldn't stand for any messing. And then he wobbled out. I thought he was coming here".

We go back to our boozing when finally Ducky arrives on the scene. Half cut. He orders a beer and when he tries to pay of it I say to add it to the tables bill. He starts getting thick about it "I'm not getting caught paying for all your beer" and demands to pay for it there an then. The beer is less than €3 but while he's paying he decides to give out the young waiter about that fact that he was paying less than 2 quid wherever he was on his tod. The waiter looks at the rest of us who he has been having great fun with and shrugs.

On the sauce for the rest of the night. Good times. One of the lads points Ducky and Al in the direction of their hostel.

Next morning myself and my buddy Roddy are well enough to crawl out of our respective beds and meet at a market by the station and have breakfast. My phone starts going off it's Al and at nearly the exact same time Ducky starts ringing Roddy.

Me (on the phone to Al): Al!

Al: (shouting at someone in the background) ....DOING IT! Sorry, Stouty - are there rooms available in your hotel?

Me: I suppose so. I dunno really. Who are you shouting at?

Roddy (on the phone to Ducky): Who's shouting there, Ducky?

Al (on the phone to me): That fucking gowl buddy of Roddy's, yer man Ducky.

Roddy (to Ducky): OK. Why is he shouting like that?... Uh huh... I suppose there are rooms left, yes. How much? I don't know.

Al (to me): Will you see if you can get me a room for the rest of the trip? I'll be there in a bit.

Roddy has finished on the phone. I ask him what the story is. Apparently the two boys have been kicked out of their hostel.

Al arrives first. We're all in the hotel bar. I have his key ready for him. He orders a coffee and a pint. He looks a bit shook which I chalk up having to pack his gear after getting tossed out of a hostel whilst hungover. We ask him what happened. Turns out Ducky got back to the room demented and started looking through his stuff, then indiscriminately accusing people of stealing out of his backpack - which was in a locker. Al calms him down and says that nobody has stolen anything. Ducky reluctantly climbs up into his bunk and promptly falls asleep. Al spends the next 5 minutes profusely apologising to the young male and female backpackers of Europe for the actions of someone he barely knows. They all seem OK with it and make jokes "Too much beer" etc etc. Al is grateful for the understanding and dozes off to sleep in his cot.

The next thing he knows he's being hauled out of his bunk and getting belted about the head and shoulders. He puts his hands out to defend himself feeling only arms flailing and raining blows down upon him.

"Yeh ROBBIN' FUCKIN' BAAAASTARD!" roars a voice. It's Ducky's voice. Al is finally awake enough to get his vision straight and hits Ducky with a hard right hook. Ducky folds to the ground.

"Whatcha hit me for?" he starts whimpering.

It is then that Al notices that Ducky is bollocks naked.  Turns out that he was a bit warm and stripped off at some point. Then he was bursting for a piss so he climbed out of his cot, made a load of noise, pissed on the floor of a corridor, got back to his dorm room and proceeded to thump the head off of the sleeping Al.

Which is when security from the hostel arrived on the scene to see Al in his jocks and t-shirt fists balled standing over a naked, whimpering man in a mixed-dorm hostel room with the young male and female backpackers of Europe looking on. Terrified.

The two of them had to sit in a train station for several hours until they assumed that we'd be awake.

I nearly get sick from laughing. I'm not the only one. Business people having meetings in the bar are giving us quare looks.

The mirth is only broken by a shout from reception of "How much for a fucking room?!"

[Emphyrio]

Brilliant. Things go right quare when abroad. Lads lose the head altogether.

[Kurt Cocaine]

  ffs....

[Nazgûl]

I'm assuming Ducky was never invited to a festival again  Pure gas!

[Caomhaoin]

There'll be a pair of Trumpsceptic cheeks and ears warming up nicely upon reading that 😂

[StoutAndAle]

There'll be a pair of Trumpsceptic cheeks and ears warming up nicely upon reading that 😂

I just realised that there's a forum member with the same nickname. I stress that it is NOT him - at least I don't think it is.

All names are concealed to protect the guilty.

[StoutAndAle]

I'm assuming Ducky was never invited to a festival again  Pure gas!

No. He has appeared at gigs and made a disgrace of himself though. The Bruce Springsteen show in Cork is a standout. 

Oh  and he was Roddy's best man - the stag/wedding is another great one that I'll have to tell sometime.

[Nazgûl]

You have a gift for setting the scene of a story anyway man. Keep em coming.

[Caomhaoin]

Brilliant. Things go right quare when abroad. Lads lose the head altogether.

So beautifully, unmistakably Irish there. My auld lad would have made that point almost word for word identical.

[El_ogre_del_Dublinios]

another quick one that i just remembered.

i came home from the pub absolutely polluted  and went to bed, at some point in the night i got up in the to go for a piss and i was full on hallucinating that i was in the pub toilets.  so i pissed all over the the radiator in my room thinking it was the urinal lol

[Kurt Cocaine]

That's not hallucinating. That's just being a full on legend.

[Carnage]

I had a beer dream once that I was wandering through the house, but the hall, landing etc. were all made out of bales of hay with plywood floors. I was searching for the jacks and eventually just pissed in a corner. The fear I had when I woke, that I'd pissed against a door or wall fair shook me. False alarm, thankfully.