Return of THE FEAR!

[El_ogre_del_Dublinios]

I have a good few tales that I'm gonna ration out over the coming weeks so not to worry

[Ollkiller]

I'll add in a few soon. Just have to collate the memories into something cohesive.

[Emphyrio]

I'll add in a few soon. Just have to collate the memories into something cohesive.

Ya, with the passage of time, both times I went AWOL and slept rough in Barcelona have become a jumble.

[Toeshaver General]

not before running  into Fart who was so drunk he couldn't comprehend what a bomb threat was

Reminds me of the time he took a load of mushrooms before flying back from Eindhoven and forgot what decade he was in.

"Here Matty I can smoke on this plane ye?"

[Eoin McLove]

Some proper morbid tales there. I got a good laugh.

[Thorn]

It's enough to put you on the straight and narrow!

[Eoin McLove]

Been on that the past couple of years!

[Petardo]

In the winter of 1997 I was working on the tulip bulb harvest in The Netherlands.
Handy money for shit work and a few months of being stoned pretty much continuously and every weekend was an adventure in Amsterdam.

One night myself and another lad were wondering around demented on mushrooms and happened upon a very friendly and inviting lady who led us down a series of alleyways to an all night club.

On entering I noticed that a lot of people were dressed in rubber and leather but was too monged to really question too much, as it was noisy, full of dry ice and I was already hallucinating a little.

We arrived at the bar and when the lad behind the counter served us while dressed in a gimp suit it became clear we were in a "specialist" venue.

So we were literally holding onto the bar from the drugs and through a clearing in the dry ice I registered a couple in gas masks in doggy style at a booth.

As the pounding techno increased in intensity more fleeting glimpses of pvc leather and sexual activity emerge from the gloom and it becomes clear this is some kind of an S&M rave which was quickly turning into an orgy. It was like date night in Dante's Inferno.

So we both agreed to finish our pints and get the hell out ASAP, but my bladder intervenes and tells me that I have to piss urgently, and mushroom logic tells me I have to find the toilet so I go looking for it, despite there being perfectly good alleyways right outside where I could take a leak.

I asked some girl where it is and her reply is to hand me a bottle of poppers. I took a sniff because I'm a fucking imbecile and continue to search the gloom for the toilet while the booze, mushrooms and poppers steer me in circles of confusion. I get propositions from both genders en route and it's all getting truly weird  and I was becoming convinced that my arse is now in real danger of a bumming.

Eventually I found myself in a toilet cubicle unable to piss through a combination of inebriation, confusion and a wee bit of the fear. The cubicles either side are emitting slurping and moaning noises which isn't helping.

After an eternity I managed a trickle then my stomach decided it was time to puke so I launched my dinner into the bowl and onto most of the floor.

At this stage I decided that I needed to be outside fucking pronto, because for some reason I decided that the staff were going to tie me up and give me a solid reaming for puking in the middle of the toilet orgy. I also was now certain that there would be a puke fetishist out in the crowd with me in their sights.

I eventually found myself on the street and realised my buddy was still waiting at the bar. I decided that his sacrifice to save me was worth it and found a park to have a sit down and hallucinate in peace.

It turns out he left before I even found the toilet.

I spent the rest of the night roaming the streets of the city holding onto walls like Spiderman, and hiding behind parked cars from my imagination.

[Emphyrio]

Fantastic. " It was like date night in Dante's Inferno." Fair play.

[Blackout]

These need to be published.  Honestly they would sell so well.

[CorkonianHunger]

In the winter of 1997 I was working on the tulip bulb harvest in The Netherlands.
Handy money for shit work and a few months of being stoned pretty much continuously and every weekend was an adventure in Amsterdam.

One night myself and another lad were wondering around demented on mushrooms and happened upon a very friendly and inviting lady who led us down a series of alleyways to an all night club.

On entering I noticed that a lot of people were dressed in rubber and leather but was too monged to really question too much, as it was noisy, full of dry ice and I was already hallucinating a little.

We arrived at the bar and when the lad behind the counter served us while dressed in a gimp suit it became clear we were in a "specialist" venue.

So we were literally holding onto the bar from the drugs and through a clearing in the dry ice I registered a couple in gas masks in doggy style at a booth.

As the pounding techno increased in intensity more fleeting glimpses of pvc leather and sexual activity emerge from the gloom and it becomes clear this is some kind of an S&M rave which was quickly turning into an orgy. It was like date night in Dante's Inferno.

So we both agreed to finish our pints and get the hell out ASAP, but my bladder intervenes and tells me that I have to piss urgently, and mushroom logic tells me I have to find the toilet so I go looking for it, despite there being perfectly good alleyways right outside where I could take a leak.

I asked some girl where it is and her reply is to hand me a bottle of poppers. I took a sniff because I'm a fucking imbecile and continue to search the gloom for the toilet while the booze, mushrooms and poppers steer me in circles of confusion. I get propositions from both genders en route and it's all getting truly weird  and I was becoming convinced that my arse is now in real danger of a bumming.

Eventually I found myself in a toilet cubicle unable to piss through a combination of inebriation, confusion and a wee bit of the fear. The cubicles either side are emitting slurping and moaning noises which isn't helping.

After an eternity I managed a trickle then my stomach decided it was time to puke so I launched my dinner into the bowl and onto most of the floor.

At this stage I decided that I needed to be outside fucking pronto, because for some reason I decided that the staff were going to tie me up and give me a solid reaming for puking in the middle of the toilet orgy. I also was now certain that there would be a puke fetishist out in the crowd with me in their sights.

I eventually found myself on the street and realised my buddy was still waiting at the bar. I decided that his sacrifice to save me was worth it and found a park to have a sit down and hallucinate in peace.

It turns out he left before I even found the toilet.

I spent the rest of the night roaming the streets of the city holding onto walls like Spiderman, and hiding behind parked cars from my imagination.

This one seemed genuinely terrifying haha. Reminds me of the time me and a mate after a gig ended up in a gay bar so we hid in the smoking area for the rest of the night. We were covered in leather (jackets and the lot) praying it wasn't an 80's type of gay bar ha.

[Slaughterday]

Last few pages have been absolutely incredible  keep them coming lads.

[El_ogre_del_Dublinios]

 a quick one this time.

not one of my stories but one from one of my mates.

for me and me mate summer 2014 was utterly demented. i was given a good chunk of money by my grandad after my leaving cert and my mate had gotten settled into his room in a gaff after his ma kicked him out.  understandably he wasnt in the best state of mind so the two of us started drinking alot. pretty much every day for the whole of the 3 months of summer. about a month or so in we went to another mates gaff near to town. a good litre of whiskey was drank between the 3 of us before we left the gaff with a tactical naggin or two stuffed in our jackets for our mate who was understandably short on cash.  the night goes as expected and after getting the boot from the pub we continued splattering ourselves in me mates gaff. the next day while me and the mate whos gaff it was where still asleep, me mate got up, realised he had to be somewhere (i cant remember what he had to do)  and started making his way home. to get home he had to walk into town and get the bus back to blanch. this is where the story gets good.

about half way into town, a combination of the hot sun and the hangover has me mate sweating  buckets. so he takes his shirt off. so now he is stumbling down the street, no shirt on, pumping sweat and reeking of aldi whiskey, moaning to himself. he gets another bit into town and realises he needs to have a piss. he nips down an ally, does the job and walks on. at this point he notices people staring at him in disgust.  understandable he  thinks, i do look a sight. he keeps walking and realises people are REALLY giving him the evil eye. he ignores this and walk on, eventually he reaches the bus , gets on and sits down............to realise that  his flute has been sticking out his fly since he took the piss in the ally as in his hungover state hadnt fixed himself properly afterwards.

he only told me about this about 2 years later when he was finally able to say it without turning bright red. lol

[Paul keohane]

Just catching up here!,fuck me!

[Nazgûl]

a quick one this time.

not one of my stories but one from one of my mates.

for me and me mate summer 2014 was utterly demented. i was given a good chunk of money by my grandad after my leaving cert and my mate had gotten settled into his room in a gaff after his ma kicked him out.  understandably he wasnt in the best state of mind so the two of us started drinking alot. pretty much every day for the whole of the 3 months of summer. about a month or so in we went to another mates gaff near to town. a good litre of whiskey was drank between the 3 of us before we left the gaff with a tactical naggin or two stuffed in our jackets for our mate who was understandably short on cash.  the night goes as expected and after getting the boot from the pub we continued splattering ourselves in me mates gaff. the next day while me and the mate whos gaff it was where still asleep, me mate got up, realised he had to be somewhere (i cant remember what he had to do)  and started making his way home. to get home he had to walk into town and get the bus back to blanch. this is where the story gets good.

about half way into town, a combination of the hot sun and the hangover has me mate sweating  buckets. so he takes his shirt off. so now he is stumbling down the street, no shirt on, pumping sweat and reeking of aldi whiskey, moaning to himself. he gets another bit into town and realises he needs to have a piss. he nips down an ally, does the job and walks on. at this point he notices people staring at him in disgust.  understandable he  thinks, i do look a sight. he keeps walking and realises people are REALLY giving him the evil eye. he ignores this and walk on, eventually he reaches the bus , gets on and sits down............to realise that  his flute has been sticking out his fly since he took the piss in the ally as in his hungover state hadnt fixed himself properly afterwards.

he only told me about this about 2 years later when he was finally able to say it without turning bright red. lol