Film

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

Should have gone for Cocaine Bear tonight but, since it came up when I was looking back at Val Kilmer's filmography as one I hadn't seen, I decided to give MacGruber a go. Holy fuck. Without doubt one of the top 10 worst films and top 5 worst comedies I have ever seen.

[Carnage]

Never heard of that, but Cocaine Bear is Objectively bad. Probably still enjoyable though.

[Sworntothecans]

MacGruber is brilliant, but I like Will Fortè anyway, but he's definitely not for everyone.
Same team is doing the Naked Gun sequel with Neeson.

Cocaine Bear had some potential but going CGI fucked it over and definitely looked like the test screenings shaped it.

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

I don't have a problem with Will Forte as an actor, but the script was abysmal, like something a 14 year old wrote. A couple of funny moments, but it was a struggle to get through...and, natch, I was smoking while watching it so 

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

If you've always wanted to own something owned by David Lynch, whether that be his director's chair, his coffee maker, or even his ironing board... now's your chance, as it's all up for auction:
https://www.juliensauctions.com/en/auctions/julien-s-auctions-turner-classic-movies-present-the-david-lynch-collection

[Carnage]

Just finished Gladiator II, christ it was awful. A lazy retread of the original, and perpetually under its shadow with all the flashbacks and callbacks. Probably the worst Denzel Washington performance I've seen and as for Mescal? His performance had more wood than a Bangkok orgy. Even the digital effects (those fucking baboons and sharks) and music were pale imitations of the original's, and that was made 25 years earlier.

And they're talking about a third one now.

[Sworntothecans]

Trailer was enough for me.
Ridley's been on a major self indulgent binge of shite for years.

[The Heretic]

Just finished Gladiator II, christ it was awful. A lazy retread of the original, and perpetually under its shadow with all the flashbacks and callbacks. Probably the worst Denzel Washington performance I've seen and as for Mescal? His performance had more wood than a Bangkok orgy. Even the digital effects (those fucking baboons and sharks) and music were pale imitations of the original's, and that was made 25 years earlier.

And they're talking about a third one now.

It is indeed awful and completely unnecessary

[Carnage]

Just finished Sinners and while I enjoyed it, it was far from perfect. As soon as the trio turned up at the juke joint, it all became very familiar; everything from Salem's Lot to From Dusk 'Til Dawn with touches of O Brother Where Art Thou, Lawless, even American Gangster and The Doors were thrown into the mix.

It looked great, amazing cinematography, the soundtrack was mostly great - while I got the significance of the modern stuff in that scene, it was quite jarring - but as an Irlander the Rocky Road To Dublin scene was painful to see and hear.

The vampire element was all a bit clumsy, I reckon it would have worked better as a '30s set Green Room-esque siege with the Klan boys showing up. All IMO obviously, and I did enjoy it. It just wasn't quite worth the hype.

[Mooncat]

Just saw the new Mission Impossible. It was ooook. Some of the setpieces were great, as expected, but there seemed to be a huge amount of exposition dialogue, like they thought the audience was truly dense. Didn't really seem to have the humour of the earlier installments too. A perfect example of a 3hr film that could have been far better with an hour or so chopped off.


Also randomly watched the Point Break remake. Holy fuck it was genuinely awful. Even the adrenaline junky setpieces were dull (bar maybe the squirrel suit one), managing to create not one ounce of tension or excitement. They also removed all the story beats and moments from the first one that made it interesting. Weak dialogue, weak acting, weak story, weakly shot. Even if it had been a completely original film it would have been shit, never mind the actuality of how much it pales compared to the original.

[Sworntothecans]

The original Point Break is incredibly well made. Yeah there's a fair bit of daftness to the script but it's still one of the strongest action movies of the 90s.

Plus Anthony Kiedis gets shot in it!

The remake absolutely reeked of some suit at Fox losing it over Universal making billions with the Fast and The Furious and forcing a yet another unnecessary remake.

[Carnage]

I was getting Point Break and Point Blank mixed up there, panic over. Although the Point Blank remake wasn't the worst, to be fair.

[Mooncat]

The original Point Break is incredibly well made. Yeah there's a fair bit of daftness to the script but it's still one of the strongest action movies of the 90s.

Plus Anthony Kiedis gets shot in it!

The remake absolutely reeked of some suit at Fox losing it over Universal making billions with the Fast and The Furious and forcing a yet another unnecessary remake.

Funnily enough the director of it is also the guy who shot the first Fast and Furious film, so there's a direct connection there. The Point Break remake is shot the same kind of way: that sort of jump cut/close up/ADHD style shooting that tries to create excitement and tension really cheaply (and for me, completely fails).

The first one is an absolute classic. "Utah! Get me two!"

[Sworntothecans]

Back Off Warchild! Seriously!😅
Oddly enough the first Fast & The Furious isn't too flashy camera/editing wise due to the low budget.
But it does have the sheen of a late 90s MTV video.

[Mooncat]

Had to watch the original Point Break last night now after talking about it. Fucking class. Real time and place movie, no way you can recreate that magic. Even after seeing it 100 times the whole grabbing the gun, "FUCKYAAAAA" and diving out of the plane with no parachute bit still gets me. Also the way Nobody Rides For Free kicks in at the end. Awesome.

Gonna have to follow it up now with the other half of Swayze's zen-master double feature: Road House!