Return of THE FEAR!

[astfgyl]

A real quick one and nowhere near the writing standard of what is going here but I had work at 8 the other morning, and I was so poisoned the night before that I woke up at 7.45 with my jeans and shoes still on. I jumped up out of it got me shit together in 10 minutes and made a run for it. I decided not to smoke a fag because if I did I would have driven the car straight into a wall but when I was emptying my jeans pockets I saw 2 half rollies coming out amongst the detritus so I said to save time and hardship sure I'll just smoke one of those halves when I get there. Made it at 1 minute to 8 lovely got the full 30 seconds to horse it in...

Realised as I hit the roach hang on what's the story with the flavour off this.. ah no fuck it's the fucking joint. By then it was too late I could feel the cunt seeping in and I got worse by the minute while trying to keep it together. Not exaggerating at all I was very close to a full blown panic attack by 9 o clock and I have to work with the public in a setting where it is very not ok to be in that condition. It was fucking rough out and the closest I have came to pure fear in a good while.

Bit of an anti climax but sure fuck it I may as well contribute something. I have way worse historical ones but I am lacking the eloquence of Stout & Ale at the minute

[Scáthach]

  Jesus man. Spiked yourself there 

[StoutAndAle]

Brilliant! 

[StoutAndAle]

Here's a quick one after reading the thread about one album bands and the mention of Mushroom/Aonghus McAnally.

I might have told this on the old forum too but...

In Whelan's one night, a buddy and I were finishing our pints and debating where to go for a few scoops next. Jacket on, last slug of the pint, two fresh pints appear in front of us.

"There y'are" says Frankie (one of the world's greatest barmen).

"We didn't order these, Frankie" says my pal.

"There's a promotion later, you might as well have yours now" says Frank as he gives us a wink and disappears.

Grand. Jacket back off - head outside for a cigarette. As I'm going I look into the little corner area by the window. I spot an Aonghus McAnally lookalike. Wait, it is him. Deadly. I loved him on telly when I was a kid.

Back inside. Tell the buddy.

"Ah yeah." says he. "Listen, we better get another two pints here. I don't want Frankie to be thinking that we're sneaking off after two freebies."

"Grand" says I "we have two stools here anyway".

Sure enough - we end up there for another 2 hours. Few promo pints down the hatch. Light on the pocket. Definitely going elsewhere this time, jackets on, say goodbye to Frankie.

Mr. McAnally is still there. To hell with it. I'm going to say hello.

"Hey Aonghus!"

"Yes?" clearly annoyed.

"Eh... how's it going?" says I

"Grand... Is that it?" asks Aonghus

"I met you once before in Mosney..."

"Ehhh...."

"It was back in the 80s"

"Right"

"What are you up to for the night, Aonghus?"

"Eh... heading home. And yourself"

I fuckin' set it up, now for the pay off;

"Ah Aonghus, you know yourself... ANYTHING GOES!" I bellow

"Right. Fuck off" says Aonghus

"Eh.. what?"

"Fuck. OFF!"

My buddy muscles in to my defence, grabs me and heads towards the door. 

"Hey, Aonghus!"   he roars back into Whelans "shove your saxophone up your hole!!!".

"What does that have to do with anything?!" I ask

"He plays the sax in The Commitments, doesn't he?!"

"He doesn't."

"Hey, Aonghus, stick any oul saxophone up your hole!!!"

You can't buy class.

[Paul keohane]

Aonghus mcAnally was down in a secondary school on the north side of Cork city back in the early 90s for a day.
He was doing  work for some kind of sports day in the school or something like that for TV.

A fella we know ,a student at the school, was assigned as Mcanallys helper/chaperone for the day.Between the jigs and the reels your man took a dump in a tissue and slipped it into McAnallys coat pocket.

At the end of the day Mcanally put on his coat jumped into his car and headed for Dublin ,none the wiser that there was a steaming turd in his  pocket.

[Emphyrio]

 

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

 

[Snare]

That has to be a certain Murphy story surely Keo?? 😄

[Eoin McLove]

Aonghus mcAnally was down in a secondary school on the north side of Cork city back in the early 90s for a day.
He was doing  work for some kind of sports day in the school or something like that for TV.

A fella we know ,a student at the school, was assigned as Mcanallys helper/chaperone for the day.Between the jigs and the reels your man took a dump in a tissue and slipped it into McAnallys coat pocket.

At the end of the day Mcanally put on his coat jumped into his car and headed for Dublin ,none the wiser that there was a steaming turd in his  pocket.

That's fucking mental.

[Paul keohane]

That jas to be a David Murphy story surely Keo?? 😄

Yeah

[astfgyl]

It's going to be tough to top putting a shite in Aonghus McAnally's pocket

[StoutAndAle]

Aonghus mcAnally was down in a secondary school on the north side of Cork city back in the early 90s for a day.
He was doing  work for some kind of sports day in the school or something like that for TV.

A fella we know ,a student at the school, was assigned as Mcanallys helper/chaperone for the day.Between the jigs and the reels your man took a dump in a tissue and slipped it into McAnallys coat pocket.

At the end of the day Mcanally put on his coat jumped into his car and headed for Dublin ,none the wiser that there was a steaming turd in his  pocket.

Mother of Christ!  That is brilliant. Disgusting but fucking brilliant!

I wonder did my Cork accent trigger Aonghus that night?

Was this The North Mon by any chance, Paul?

[Ollkiller]

Fella I know in Mayo got community service for some small misdemeanour. His community service was cleaning in the courthouse. Judges chambers and all. There was a window with curtains and a radiator underneath it. He was cleaning the room at the end of the day when everyone had gone and he got his poop and smeared it round the back of the railings on the curtain and the back of the radiator. Next day when the heat was switched on the God awful smell wafted through the whole building. Cases cancelled for the day. Had to get the fumigators in. Funnily enough never got caught for it.

[ochoill]

Most of my fear stories are just bleak - the drinking bits are generally great but the following fear usually consists of edging on a nervous breakdown for a day under a wet cloth, enough times for them to have blurred together.  I'll post one or two in here some time but they are not as detailed as the few already posted.

I felt like I had to share this with ye though.  Found it on twitter this morning and properly laughed out loud at it, this belongs in this thread though it happened to none of us: https://twitter.com/shockproofbeats/status/992006545473966082?s=19

[Ollkiller]

Most of my fear stories are just bleak - the drinking bits are generally great but the following fear usually consists of edging on a nervous breakdown for a day under a wet cloth, enough times for them to have blurred together.  I'll post one or two in here some time but they are not as detailed as the few already posted.

I felt like I had to share this with ye though.  Found it on twitter this morning and properly laughed out loud at it, this belongs in this thread though it happened to none of us: https://twitter.com/shockproofbeats/status/992006545473966082?s=19

Aye saw this a few years ago. Fucking classic.