Mad shit people have said to you about metal

[Eoin McLove]

Nicking this from another site because it has the potential for a few laughs.  What are some of the funniest,  stupidest or craziest things people have said to you about metal over the years?

When I was a sprout I was visiting my grandparents and wearing a Suicidal Tendencies t-shirt. My granny turns to my parents all seriously and says,  'Suicidal Tendencies are banned in Navan!' 


Around ten years ago I was sitting at the table at Christmas and happened to be wearing Candlemass t-shirt.  My uncle walks behind me and sees the print on the back of the t-shirt and jokingly grips my shoulders and goes 'Doooooom!'

My mad, religious aunty perks up at this and asks what he's talking about and I tell her it's the backprint of my t-shirt.

Her serious reply- 'It'll get you in the end'.

Eh, cheers...

And another garment related incident I remember was back when I was in college,  so closing in on 20 years ago,  I'm on the bus and I'm wearing the Today is the Day 'In the Eyes of God' t-shirt and this mental drunk oul one gets on the bus.  She's standing over me leering at my t-shirt and starts growling at me about my evil t-shirt with its evil blacks and evil reds.  She says,  'I'm sure your mother is very proud' and I tell her to go fuck herself.  She heads off upstairs.  A while later she is getting off the bus and starts trying to shove a bottle of holy water into my hand 

I tell you,  it's the non- metal spastics I'm often more concerned about.

[Ollkiller]

Went down to the shop early one Saturday morning hungover as hell. Had a dying fetus t shirt on me. An ould one goes "that's fucking disgraceful". I replied "it's ok, we eat the fetus after it dies". She was not impressed.

[nukeabuse]

Driving in the car with a lad i used to work with, cant remember exactly what i was listening to but im sure it was nothing too outrageous as i was with him. He asked me 'is this that i wanna fuck a dog in the ass type music' as apparently his only frame of reference to 'heavy rock' music was a blink 182 song.

[Emphyrio]

Was watching Headbangers Ball back in the day and the ma walks in as the credits to Suicidal Tendencies pop up. It's difficult explaining that's it's just a band, and it opened the door to frequent check ins that I was ok.

The da once asked what rubbish I was listening to. Further to Suicidal Tendencies, I answered Facelift, rather than open up an Alice in Chains can of worms. S and M would have been a more awkward conversation than suicide. He said I could do with one alright.

I'm sure many others will come to mind.

[Wiseblood]

Was on my way up to see Mael Mordha in the Gasworks years back and some fella (who I assumed to be lost), stopped me and asked me did I know where the nearest church was. When I told him I didn't he put his hand on my shoulder and said "Would you like me to show you". I asked him what the fuck he was on about and he pointed at my t-shirt and told me it was never too late to reject Satan and his evil ways.

Another time I (now regrettably) had a Hatebreed t-shirt on and some fella in work thought it was some coeliac group and asked me why I hated bread and did it make me that sick. 

And from one metalhead to another,  while at Judas Priest in the O2 I was standing near the back minding my own business when some locked spa tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at Rob Halford and said "hi look lad... that's you up there!" Of course being bald with a beard I've gotten the Halford lark for a while but having it done when Halford was in the same building was pretty fucking funny.

[TheFlyingGiraffe]

Was in the barbers one day getting the head shaved and the barber pointed out my Sodom shirt and started asking about the band. Just explained that they were a heavy metal band, and he said he used to listen to Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera(should have been the first warning sign) and all that so we got talking about music. Conversation goes on anyway and he says it's been a couple years since he's listened to much, ever since the early 00s when nu metal took over. Grand, nu metal isn't for everybody, not for me either but sure look. Then he goes on to talk about how he's glad that Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell were dead because they ruined metal music...

In college one time we'd just finished a lecture and my group went up to the lecturer because we wanted to ask him a couple questions. Finished asking the questions and the lecturer points out my Motorhead shirt. I asked if he was a fan and he said no, the lads who would wear the Motorhead shirts when he was in school used to bully him. Bit awkward.

[mick1sheridan]

Friend of mine has been lectured by random people several times in Canada for wearing a Pig Destroyer shirt.

[Pentagrimes]

All time best for me was my ma, after seeing a bit of that old Channel 4 interview with Glen Benton years ago saying

"Now Jamie, there's death metal and there's death metal"

She had no idea how unintentionally right she was.

[blessed1]

My mother was looking through a  Akercocke cd booklet and when I came home from school she was asking me where the cd was as she wanted to hear this band that David Gray was in. She thought it was that singer songwriter fella who she was listening to at the time!

[Pentagrimes]

Wiseblood's post there just reminded me of an incident with some lad who came into the shop when I worked in Merro's. At one point there was a metal shelf prominently displayed next to the counter full of what was mostly Invictus distro stuff, and this  old maths teacher lad who was browsing in the shop looked it up and down before strolling over to the counter to casually tell me how I needed to be saved, and how I was going to burn in hell for selling the devil's music.

At the height of the black metal explosion in the early 90s there were a couple  of kids in  the year below me in my secondary school who were really into Emperor. One of them would actually make raise the horns and say "Ave" whenever he passed me in the hall, which still cracks me up to think about.

Also, my daughter telling me when she was younger that the vocals on the Vircolac demo sounded like "A sailor getting sick on his boat" is a good one.

[Kurt Cocaine]

Used to have an awful time getting me ma to wash my Napalm Death 3rd Reich long sleeved shirt.
Just couldn't convince her that I wasn't a Nazi even though I pointed out the circle-backslash symbol across each Swastika.
On the plus side, I learned how to use a washing machine.

[The Butcher]

"Why are you listening to that weirdo? Isn't he the chap who wears nappies on his head?"

My mam annoyed to find a Marilyn Manson CD in my room when I was 14.

Which distressed her enough to search my room and find something else which she also confronted me on.

"What's that up in your room?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The white substance on top of your desk. The drugs."

"What are you talking about, what drugs?!"

"The cocaine."

"Mam....that's chalk from school."

[Ducky]

When I first started getting into metal one lad on my street (who was a few years younger, so probably 13 at the time) used to mockingly throw me the "horns up" and shout "whoa dude, In listening to Metackanack!".

When to see err, Metackanack in 2009 (the gig with Mastodon and Alice in Chains on the bill, maybe Marley Park?) and sure who do I run into.

[Ducky]

Double post, or something.

[Blitzer666]

Driving in the car with a lad i used to work with, cant remember exactly what i was listening to but im sure it was nothing too outrageous as i was with him. He asked me 'is this that i wanna fuck a dog in the ass type music' as apparently his only frame of reference to 'heavy rock' music was a blink 182 song.

I had slayer on in work, my boss called it "head down the bog, anal rape music"!!
Yep, ok