Pet Peeves

[Ducky]

People in customer facing roles wearing headsets just gets to me. One ear on, one ear off, you never know who the cunt is listening to. It's very unprofessional, to my mind. If you're engaged with someone, they should know they have your attention and you have theirs. I always take out the earbuds if I go to a shop and interact with the staff, they should do the same.

This one boils my piss no end. You have to wonder what dickheads in HO decided that the staff not being able to switch off from each other was a good idea, especially when some of them are customer-facing.

I find in turn it makes me a bit less courteous. Like I'd always put my basket back in the stack neatly, but find myself thinking "well if the staff can't be fucked being courteous to customers then I'm not gonna bother me hole being courteous back" and just ditch it.

[Mithrandir]

I got food poisoning for the first time this weekend, had a dodgy kebab friday after work then spent all of saturday and sunday shitting and puking my guts up and then back up for work this morning. Truly the weekend from hell, it was like 10 of the worst hangovers I've ever had all at once.

[Eoin McLove]

Ah no, a good dose is great every now and again for the deep cleanse. You're not going further than sprinting distance from the jacks, and you'll want to have a few packets of wet wipes at the ready to keep the arse in one piece, and yeah, fair enough, the guts start to twist into a knot after shite number three or four,  and you're sweaty and trying to puke into your slurry which makes you vomit even more, even when you've nothing left to give, and you can't sleep and you've a headache... but after all that... the gaunt shadowy eyes, the pronounced cheekbones, the slight prolapse. It's as close as a man can get to looking like Kate Moss.

[Black Shepherd Carnage]

I got food poisoning for the first time this weekend

First time!? No sympathy, ya lucky prick!  (Lots of sympathy, in truth: rotten experience!)

[Mithrandir]

Ah no, a good dose is great every now and again for the deep cleanse. You're not going further than sprinting distance from the jacks, and you'll want to have a few packets of wet wipes at the ready to keep the arse in one piece, and yeah, fair enough, the guts start to twist into a knot after shite number three or four,  and you're sweaty and trying to puke into your slurry which makes you vomit even more, even when you've nothing left to give, and you can't sleep and you've a headache... but after all that... the gaunt shadowy eyes, the pronounced cheekbones, the slight prolapse. It's as close as a man can get to looking like Kate Moss.

       Pretty Much!

[The Heretic]

I've had food poisoning twice in my life and both self inflicted. Both times I just wanted God to just take me away that's how bad it was, brutal stuff

[Anvil]

Haven't had food poisoning yet...or never had the vomiting and shitting at the same time...  but had to have a barium enema once...basically they pump your intestine full of stuff that shows up on an x-ray to check for cancer or anything else sinister.  So a day of laxatives before, a tube shoved in your hole and pumped full of chalky white stuff (there is a joke in there) and then a day of shitting out the stuff... fuck it was hell. 

[Carnage]

Sounds rough, I had an endoscopy about 10 years ago, that was not fun, but at least I didn't have a radioactive turboload to parp out afterward. Fuck that. The laxative day was, well... shite.

I spent a day last week on the toilet, thought it was food poisoning but it was only coming out one end. That was unpleasant enough, so far I haven't had the full treatment.

[Circlepit]

Food poisoning is like all the misery in the world trying to escape out your hole all at once.
It's one of those situations where you are afford to fart even days after in case the demon returns.

[91/30]

Pet Peeve is no more caffeine for me.  I went to get the blood pressure checked a few days ago - 175 at idle rate.  The fella in the pharmacy said 'that's very high, you might need an ambulance".  That fair put the wind up me.  I'm wearing a monitor for the next 24hrs  that's taking readings every 30 minutes but the BP is back to 120.  So no more Aldi 500ml cans haha