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I love metal, but hate 99% of metalheads in Ireland. Apart from a pretty tight circle of friends in the scene, I would usually socialise with childhood mates as I just can't be fucking arsed putting up with these saps. I have also recently taken to going to most of the bigger touring gigs abroad as between pint prices, taxi prices and these fucking arseholes, I'm just not enjoying myself.

It appears to me that your average metal fan is nothing short of a braindead luddite and I see this at most every gig in Ireland. Not only by the carry-on of them, but also the absolute backwards shite that they come out with.

Off the top of my head, some examples:

• "Fuck off you queer. Little faggot". Directed at my gay friend.
• "That fuckin' n*gger is the jacks". Directed at the guy cleaning your grease filled piss.
• The absolute head the ball that brought the dead bird to Mayhem last year.
• Telling a man in a suit that he shouldn't be at a Slayer gig and wasn't welcome.
• Some middle aged, fat baldy ape grabbed my girlfriend's tits at the YOB gig in Whelans a few years back. When confronted by my bawling girlfriend and furious self, his reply? "It was only a joke for fuck sake, calm down", to which his friends seemed to agree and looked bewildered that I was ready to burst the cunt.
• A chap trying to choke people at the Deafheaven gig in Whelans

So what do you think? Am I cranky old bastard or do you lot have any similar experiences to share?

With regards to the lad choking people at Deafheaven in Whelans. After a while I ended up fucking him across the room because he was going to end up getting a dig if he didn't stop. Seconds later the lads FUCKING DAD has me by the throat telling him to leave his young lad alone. Explained the situation to him and the da's response was "DON'T STAND UP THE FRONT THEN."

Yeah, mostly pricks. Bringing your da to back you up when you want to act the knob. Really metal.