Not sure there's enough of these out there to justify an entire thread, but anyway...found this posted somewhere on facebook and the sheer cluelessness of it gave me a laugh.
You mightn't necessarily be a fan of Bolt Thrower but this is so wide of the mark. I can remember that particular writer from Kerrang, Raw and I think Metal Hammer as well. Can recall a number of classic BM albums getting an absolute panning around the time they were released, if anyone has more success than me at tracking these down I'd love to see them
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They are a boring band, you must give him that. Unfortunately for him their boring music is considered to be classic stuff by some people putting egg on his face. But he's right, Boltthrower are dogshit. Another way of looking at these kinds of reviews is that they put the lie to the cliché 'you had to be there'. Nope.
It's needlessly petty and arrogant but they were, at best, a mediocre band.
Always loved Bolt Thrower and Realm of Chaos, especially being a Warhammer nerd. Whether you like them or not, the third paragraph and a song like World Eater does not compute for me. The song structure, the way it builds etc... wouldn't surprise me if he didn't actually listen to the album all the way through.
Now admittedly my memory of my obsessive Kerrang reading in the 80s/early 90s isn't as encyclopedic as it was as a kid, but if I recall correctly, wasn't Ling a champion of glam/hair metal? I do remember him slagging a lot of stuff I liked..probably the only reason I remember his name at all tbh.
Not trying to change anyone's opinion, but just some context maybe. Pretty sure K! slagged many a classic album of all metal subgenres back in the day. Did they slate Angel Dust as well or was that Raw??
Jesus, mad now th think there was a time where you'd walk into a newsagents and there'd be 3 or 4 metal magazines available!
Quote from: Pentagrimes on October 18, 2025, 11:49:58 AMNow admittedly my memory of my obsessive Kerrang reading in the 80s/early 90s isn't as encyclopedic as it was as a kid, but if I recall correctly, wasn't Ling a champion of glam/hair metal?
Reading that review, it certainly seems fairly unlikely he genuinely enjoyed either Slowly We Rot or From Enslavement To Obliteration, and is surely pointing to the respective bands just in order to give himself some "expert" credibility. Reminds me of the infamous Zom review :laugh: :laugh:
Likely pulled Tardy's name at random, they sound absolutely nothing alike at all.
That review was from Raw magazine, and is quite wrong.
Yeah, my own thoughts are kinda similar to BSC and Pentagrimes...not really bothered that someone wasn't a fan of Bolt Thrower (personally a fan myself but can see how they might be dismissed as a bit simplistic) but just the tone of the overall review itself. Pentagrimes...you're correct about the writer, he also went on to co-found Classic Rock so clearly he wasnt on board with that kind of stuff. And as you said, the Tardy comment was completely wide of the mark...Karl Willets sounds nothing like him and the comment suggested "sounds like a sub-par version of [insert random DM vocalist]".
I used to buy Raw, Kerrang and MH religiously as a young lad but it was very clear at the time that they couldn't get their heads around black or death metal.
Some more Kerrang clangers for your perusal...
Fucking hell, that sneering tone is shocking. The live Emperor review is a slating and the split gets 4 Ks, but both reviews offer nothing but pathetic insults. As a kid reading MH and Kerrang I thought it was funny. It made it accessible I suppose. But jesus, it's shameful. Did any of those cretins like metal at all I wonder.
ffs Morbid Angel, why can't you be more like your distant cousin Cathedral!?
The old Kerrang/Raw crowd were never fond of any of the Earache/Roadrunner bands as they didn't either do publicity for them as a side gig , weren't able to blag free booze at the gigs or they weren't mates with them.
Couple of paragraphs slagging Bolt Thrower, but followed by a three page feature what's made Ginger Wildheart grumpy this week.
To be fair, slagging off Emperor is fine, as they were atrocious. The Enslaved side of that split, however, is mighty.
"Cradle of Filth are seriously good"
Once you give away your dignity, well, you can never get it back.
I kinda miss those types of review in some ways. Scroll Blabbermouth or Overdrive and everything is 8/10 +
The odd scathing review fuelled by personal gripe or lack of placement of one's name on a guest list can be ok! :laugh:
The thing about Ginger was spot on. They were the same for a ton of uk bands back then and all the publicity in the world didn't really further things for any of them.
I don't know what those people reviewed those bands. They clearly had zero interest in that genre.
They all come across as " I'm too good to review this shit and I wish I was a real journalist bit I'm shit and a cunt and I'm shit"
Covenant is excellent, beyond reproach and Kerrang is cuntmuck.
As someone already said Raw and Kerrang seems to be paid adverts for The Wildhearts, Terrorvison and the likes.
I think it was an English journo thing at the time, the shitty arrogance of the "reviewing". The likes of NME and Melody Maker were exactly the same, frequently populated with snotty and nasty reviews where the journo had a bigger ego than any of the bands they reviewed. It was often just a competition between the cunts to outdo each other in cuntishness. You only have to listen to Mick Wall's podcasts, entertaining as they are, to get an idea of how insufferable those lads must have been at the time.
I noticed a things years ago where these magazines would give an awful review to a particular album at the time but then come back with some sort of retrospective and change the score.
I guess they knew back then that no attention is bad attention
The entire Kerrang bunch were channeling their inner Sun reporter everytime they dealt with black metal in the early 90s. There was one where they had Emperor in to review singles, the photo of the band had caption underneath saying "Emperor(L-R): Donut, Donut, Donut, Donut". TBH, it wasn't just death and black metal, they went after the likes of Hellowern etc, because they were obsessed with pushing that Britrock crap.
Funny though, a few years later, they ended up having to put Emperor on the cover and do serious articles, because Emperor were selling records unlike the likes of 3 Colors Red, etc.
Definitely. Bands like maiden couldn't buy a good review in the late 90s those mags were laughing at them. Fast forward a decade and it was the likes of maiden etc keeping them in a job
In looking up the roots of this tradition, back when the press were panning Zeppelin, for example, I stumbled upon the fact that Ling had also panned Appetite for Destruction. So, yeah, his lack of taste wasn't limited to metal! :laugh:
It's strange to think now but these guys had a lot of influence. They were taste makers in many ways. As a teenager buying MH and the odd Kerrang and being clueless myself, I assumed these dudes all knew what they were on about. I think of them now as probably twenty something year olds, in college, maybe making a bit of drinking money with a bit of writing and they had some loose connection to the metal scene. Mates with the editor of whatever. Maybe they'd stick the promo CD on while getting ready to hit the tiles on a Saturday night, write up a hilarious couple of hundred words saying how awful it was while necking a 6 pack, then off out the door. You would think the editor might step in and say, lads, this actually IS a metal mag!
Well mr Mclove, those stupid end of year top twenty records that would feature the likes of Oasis, Black Grape and Travis or whatever suggest your theory may not be far off the mark.
Think it's the UK rock press in general. "We're all in Camden on the blag for drink tickets and passes". The Kerrang crowd didn't like punk until Green Day (and Warner's buying pages of marketing).
The Wildhearts; the media darlings of 90s British rock/metal!
To this day im not actually sure ive heard one note of their music!
Bush were another band they were falling over!
Some more for you here...
It's like reading reviews of dairy products written by people who are lactose intolerant. Like that Zom review :laugh: :laugh:
These have to be pisstakes.
Didn't Leather Mike get really hot and bothered over Zom? I'm sure there was a thread on MI started by him over how heavy is too heavy relating to Zom as well.
A lot of people got hot and bothered about Zom, particularly 'that' review. Odd that Mike would take that position though, considering he liked to push boundaries...
Quote from: Paul keohane on October 19, 2025, 02:08:09 PMBush were another band they were falling over!
Which really pissed a load of the Brit press off too as they'd all written off Rossdale as a bit of a star fucker and bandwagon jumper from the London scene.
Then he fucked off to the states and did both and they had to grovel for the ad money from Interscope.
Quote from: Bürggermeister on October 19, 2025, 06:12:03 AM"Cradle of Filth are seriously good"
Once you give away your dignity, well, you can never get it back.
To be fair, at that point the actually were.
Yup. Up to and including(-ish) Cruelty they were great.
One of my friends distinctly remembers that during the nu metal era in the late 90s most of the rock/metal press basically went Year Zero and automatically dismissed nearly all the classic metal bands as rubbish while saying how awesome nu metal was.
Then in the 2000s when trad metal became cool again all of a sudden MH was declaring themselves 'Defenders of the faith' and couldn't stop going on about how great all the 80s stuff was.
I haven't forgotten some of the reviews that turned up in K! and MH during the tail end of nu metal. For example, reviewing AC/DC at Milton Keynes in 2001 and giving them 2/5, and Megadeth (who were one of the support acts that day) got 1/5. I remember the K! letters page was inundated with people going "WTF, that AC/DC rating, are you serious?!?!?"
The most memorable one however was that when St. Anger came out MH gave it 9/10 then went through the Metallica back catalogue and declared that AJFA was their worst album.
I will however give a shout out to the late Malcolm Dome who didn't (from what I can tell) seem to care about what was cool or not; he just was enthusiastic about music and if he liked something, he liked it no matter what. Always had time for his reviews.
Oh yeah, big time. Metal Hammer used to really deride heavy metal in the mid to late 90s when I was reading it. I wish I had discovered Terrorizer back then instead and not wasted a few years on so much crap that MH was hailing as being the best. I think my young, growing record collection would have been spiced up a little more than was the case. One of life's regrets!
In the mid 90's Kerrang went to pure shite, Metal Hammer to a lesser extent, Kerrang wanted a bit of the Oasis action but couldn't go the whole hog so they had a foot in both camps, classic metal and britpop-ish stuff, I pretty much gave up on buying those magazines then and moved to Classic Rock magazine in later years. I only relied on tried and trusted reviewers, anyone else I paid no attention to their opinion.
Whatever about slagging off the 80's glam bands but fuck me that whole 90's nu metal era was fucking awful, at least the glam bands were having a bit of craic and doing some drinking and riding
That "defenders of true metal" phase was even more cringe than nu-metal itself, especially since it was spearheaded by Machine Head, Trivium, Shadows Fall, etc., all bands who--love or hate or meh--were always more nu- than tr00.
Ah here, Shadows Fall were fucking great and didn't have a bit of nu in them, don't deserve to be put them in any category with Machine Head :laugh:
Quote from: Trev on October 20, 2025, 02:55:46 PMdidn't have a bit of nu in them
Now, now, don't be tellin' fibs :laugh: Shadows Fall are actually the band that almost pulled me in: got The War Within, saw the show, bought the t-shirt... but hold them up to, say, Nevermore (The War Within being released around same time as Enemies of Reality and This Godless Endeavor), and there's no hesitation in concluding that the actual musical standard-bearers of "true metal" at the time, even in the high production realm, were not those being given page after page of attention by MH, or self-proclaiming themselves the "defenders" of anything.
No way can Shadows Fall be considered Nu metal.
They are just a metal band, no frills.
Whether you think they are shit is a different thing.
They are one of the only bands from the NWOAHM tag that are still listenable.
Ok, technically speaking it's "metalcore" rather than "nu-metal". But surely that's splitting dreads :P
Quote from: Black Shepherd Carnage on October 20, 2025, 04:02:19 PMOk, technically speaking it's "metalcore" rather than "nu-metal". But surely that's splitting dreads :P
Ah now, it's not metalcore either!
They wouldn't have that growl to the clean singing formula.
They have savage riffs and they can solo the shit out of it. I'm looking forward to what they are bringing out soon.
Quote from: Black Shepherd Carnage on October 20, 2025, 01:23:21 PMThat "defenders of true metal" phase was even more cringe than nu-metal itself, especially since it was spearheaded by Machine Head, Trivium, Shadows Fall, etc., all bands who--love or hate or meh--were always more nu- than tr00.
Some absurdity I recall from that era;
Bullet for my valentine were also pushed heavily in that category of metal saviours.
Machine heads the blackening being likened to master of puppets etc as THE seminal metal record.
Claims that job for a cowboy were single handedly revitalising death metal.
Used to read alot of total guitar magazine for the tabs around the time too and they often mirrored whatever kerrang said, bullet for my valentine were pushed heavily as some sort of true metal entity that was reinvigorating the scene.
All very convincing to some of my peers who never really delved too far outside of the bigger acts, endlessly amusing to my already corrupted teen brain that something so soft was considered the saviour of something that didnt really need saving ;D
Tell me it's a paid for review without telling me it's a paid for review
Everybody loves Max Cavalera. For those who didn't get the memo, the Brazilian's contribution to the metal world over the last 40 years has been vast and far-reaching. From his days in SEPULTURA to his relentless metal mission with SOULFLY and an assortment of other noisy bastards, he has consistently been one of the purest souls and most militant devotees to the whole notion of heavy music. These days, he has no shortage of projects to work with, from historical reworkings with brother Iggor in CAVALERA, to the dirty punk-metal of GO AHEAD & DIE and the revived hostility of NAILBOMB. But what fans have often craved, particularly over the last decade or so, is a new SOULFLY album that hammers home the original ideas that the great man took with him, post-"Roots", into the next major stage of his career back in the late '90s. Recent albums have been great, 2022's vicious "Totem" included, but the eclectic nature of records like "Soulfly" (1998) and "Primitive" (2000) has been steadily replaced by a more all-encompassing, death/thrash hybrid that, while undeniably effective, has also stripped much of the originality from the band's sound. As a result, while the likes of "Ritual" (2018) and "Archangel" (2015) were warmly received, they were soon largely forgotten by all but the most devoted fans. "Chama" is the 13th album to bear the SOULFLY name, and as Max has regularly hinted, it is the first album in more than 20 years to adhere to the principles that made the band's first releases so revolutionary. Not so much a return to basics, but a restating of the code that informed some of his finest work, "Chama" is the most startling SOULFLY album in many years.
Anyone expecting a rerun of early songs like "Tribe" and "Quilombo" will be sorely disappointed by "Chama", but the tribal aesthetic that propelled them has been revived and given several thousand volts up its jungle-dwelling backside. Now effectively a duo, with Max accompanied by drumming son Zyon, SOULFLY have rediscovered groove, momentum and the wild spirit of esoteric heaviness. As an added bonus, all the death metal intensity and chaos of recent albums have been retained, possibly out of sheer spite, and the resultant hybrid is fucking monstrous. They have never been this heavy before, and it goes without saying that Max is in his absolute element throughout.
From the moment that "Indigenous Inquisition" bursts into life, with scabrous riffs and a general air of apocalyptic pugnacity, "Chama" is a grand reclaiming of territory. "Storm The Gates" was released as a single, and it's not hard to hear why. With loping, mutant riffs, underpinned by ferocious drums and topped with the frontman's all-out roar and a hefty dose of post-"Roots" exuberance, it sounds like early SOULFLY, but heavier, nastier and more firmly rooted in underground grubbiness. The grotesque, grinding "Nihilist" features guest vocals from NAILS' Todd Jones, but whereas albums like "Primitive" creaked under the weight of cameo appearances, "Chama" is furious and focused solely on wreaking havoc by any means. "No Pain = No Power" (a very SOULFLY title) is so determined to make fans bang their heads that it should come with a warning about potential concussions. When the invigorating clatter of ethnic percussion permeates the rolling barricade of riffs, it is a spine-tingling moment to savor.
Next, the two-minute "Ghenna" is a raging blast of disquiet, delivered with mad-eyed zeal; "Black Hole Scum" is a jarring pileup of riffs, screams and two-stepping brutality with a raw, death metal heart, and a nauseous, slow-burn sludge riff that spits and seethes amid howls of feedback and extraneous noise; and the hair-raising speed 'n' spite of "Favela – Dystopia" throws some gruesome thrash riffs into the mix, bolstered by intuitive tempo shifts and a huge, cavernous drum sound that rattles the rafters. Max's incensed vocals sit at the heart of the chaos, echoing into the void like threats of violence from scurrilous shadows, and turning "Always Was, Always Will Be" into a bellicose riot of reptilian menace and abominable dynamics. There is a red line that stretches from "Chama" to the first couple of SOULFLY albums, but there was nothing as punishing or as deranged as this on either of them. Even "Soulfly XIII", which continues the band's tradition of having an eerie, non-electric mantra on every album, is weirder and more sonically daring than any of its precedents. The closing title track, which is unapologetically noisy and hostile, sums up the approach brilliantly. As it morphs into a dub-inflected scamper through disorientating darkness, the idea that Max Cavalera might have worn his ideas a little thin over the decades simply vanishes. SOULFLY sound genuinely dangerous again.
Everybody loves Max Cavalera, and whether you have spent the last 30 years moaning about his departure from SEPULTURA, or clinging to his every inspirational word, "Chama" is the kind of rabid, unfiltered response to the passing of time that will make you love him even more. The best SOULFLY album since the debut? Almost certainly.
9/10
The best SOULFLY album since the debut?
A low bar indeed.
That "Best Since" line really grinds my gears - literally see it in every review these days.
With hindsight, Max leaving Sepultura was the best thing that could have happened. He brought his caveman shite with him and we eventually got a load of inventive and class albums from his former band which wouldn't have been possible had he stayed. No denying the brilliance of the original lineup, but latter Sepultura was fucking brilliant, too, albeit in a different way.
That reads more like promo from the record company than an actual review. Where's it from, the taste-makers at Metal Hammer?
Quote from: Bürggermeister on October 22, 2025, 11:11:14 AMWith hindsight, Max leaving Sepultura was the best thing that could have happened. He brought his caveman shite with him and we eventually got a load of inventive and class albums from his former band which wouldn't have been possible had he stayed. No denying the brilliance of the original lineup, but latter Sepultura was fucking brilliant, too, albeit in a different way.
Caveman shite :laugh: :abbath: :laugh:
Review from Blabbermouth - i.e. money from record label for advertising.
QuoteMax has regularly hinted, it is the first album in more than 20 years to adhere to the principles that made the band's first releases so revolutionary
So basically he's spent the past twenty years basically paying lip service to his principles. 😄
Soulfly remains the only band I ever got a free ticket for that still left me feeling ripped off for going :laugh:
It was like seeing the trash heap from fraggle rock playing air guitar beside a ninja with his schoolbag on doing roundhouse kicks all night
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: The Great Cull on October 22, 2025, 04:21:16 PMSoulfly remains the only band I ever got a free ticket for that still left me feeling ripped off for going :laugh:
It was like seeing the trash heap from fraggle rock playing air guitar beside a ninja with his schoolbag on doing roundhouse kicks all night
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
The new soulfly album isn't actually bad. I'm surprised at it
I listened to it last nught but I was pissed and can't remember a thing about it.
There one from a few years ago called Dark Ages which was quite good all things considered.
Actually scratch that, I had a brief scam there and it's a mix of boom da boom da chugga with floppy strings.
I could never get into the post Max Sepultura era. It's mainly because the vocal style of Green just wasn't to my liking. I decided to give Soulfly a chance because of Max, but it wasn't for me either.
Shadows Fall are great and yeah, I'd have filed them under the 'metalcore' tag... Forgot NWOAHM was a thing.
I listened to that new Soulfly album today, couldn't make it to the last 4 songs. Nah.
I can't stand Soulfly in general. I think I'm just surprised that the new one has anything going for it at all. They're an awful band with an awful discography really
This shite just popped up on my news feed :laugh:
https://www.loudersound.com/news/max-cavalera-deftones-chino-moreno-buried-soulfly-debut-album-2025
Isn't it all Native American ground, really? 🤔
The cringeometer goes into the red during this chorus. Should've buried the tapes for this one, too, and left them buried.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxmW2wbG0Es
Nice to see the Gangnam guy again, all the same.
Shame they had to drag the Unto Others lad into that mess, he's better than that.
Video is apt though. The kind of brain-dead, chugging, bro-metal that perfectly fits a UFC ring entrance.
Apparently Max gave full creative control to the son and he wrote it all.
Alex Pereira has being saying Chama at his press conferences for as long as I can remember. He also walks out to either Kaiowas or Itsari so Max is all about the MMA now.
Video for Attitude was MMA themed, wasn't it?
Yeah, the Gracies were in it before they became a household name and everyone and their grandparents started doing BJJ.
Bump for another completely clueless review from the Raw archives. Written by Kerrang numpty Phil Alexander.
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He was always an annoying little fuckin virgin so not surprising he had a whinge. Incredible album anyway. Got a new pair of headphones lately and Acts was the first thing I threw on.
It's the 'advocating necrophilia' line that gets me :laugh:
QuoteHe was always an annoying little fuckin virgin so not surprising he had a whinge.
Ha ha ha